Selling Ourselves Short

"No one believes their life will turn out just 'kind of okay'

We all think we're going to be great

...We are filled, with expectation...

Expectations of the trails we will blaze

The people we will help

The difference we will make

Great expectations of who we will be

Where we will go...

And we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren't met"

- Meredith Grey (Grey's Anatomy Season 3 Episode 13)

Late last year, a very dear friend asked me why I often loudly and proudly claim that I'm awesome. She opined that I risked coming across as arrogant and immodest.

I partly agreed. Yes, OTHER people would think so. But to what extent does their opinion matter?

In growing up, I have learnt to

not let the noise of others' opinions drown my own inner voice. And [even more] important, I [now] have the courage to follow my heart and intuition - they somehow already know what I truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Steve Jobs Stanford 2005 commencement address - Go to 12:42 - 12:57 below:



Check out some highlights of the above speech in our post about living in 2010.

Speaking of knowing what we want to become, we invariably have lofty ambitions and grand schemes about what we'd like our lives to be in the future. We however rarely do anything to make such dreams and aspirations come true. They remain just that - dreams :(
In his book Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap...And Others Don't, Jim Collins begins by stating a fundamental truth:

Good is the enemy of great.

The abundance of people, things and situations that are just good enough is the key reason why so little becomes great. Why break your back trying to make something great while good works just fine? In a recent post, a fellow freelancer dwelt on establishing the worth of services rendered by freelancers when they leave employment.

Our willingness to settle for and make do with what is good is a big problem. In so doing, we no longer push ourselves to the limit. We no longer go the extra mile, much less the requisite distance. We become too tolerant, we simply walk the already trodden path and never challenge convention.

How then, can we deal with this unfortunate situation?

I believe that each one of us needs to have more faith in him or herself. It is however equally important that such a firm faith in self be qualified by action.
Remember that the difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that "little" extra. Everyone needs to go the extra mile, deliver much more than what's required and unrelentingly go beyond expectations. Only then can we move from good to great.

In any case, it is the unexpected that changes our lives.

Much more than the Sum of its Parts

"The whole is more than the sum of its parts."

- Aristotle [Metaphysica]

We know that if we each do a little more, we all do a lot more. This holds true for any joint effort such as brainstorming, crowd-sourcing, team sports, academic discussions... and more.

It however gets a little bit interesting when we consider stereotypes. In this skewed way of looking at things, we focus on one [usually negative or wanting] attribute, and base our entire outlook and judgments on it.

In Kenya, people of a particular ethnic extraction may be perceived as proud, lazy, promiscuous, unromantic or greedy, among other undesirable traits. We still go ahead and inspired by prejudice, dislike individuals for belonging to ethnic communities which are generally believed to have the aforementioned traits.

The recently solemnized wedding of 36 year old Peter Mbugua and 75 year old Wambui Otieno Mbugua at St Andrews Church in Nairobi has been widely discussed on radio and across the Internet. People have voiced their divergent opinions, many of them typically based on stereotypes and popular opinion.

My attention was however drawn to this post by one member [Kusadikika] on the Wazua forum. He/she writes:

Have you ever eaten a delicious meal of say Pilau after which you are left smacking your lips thinking "tamu sana"? Would it make sense if someone later asked you what is it you found delicious; was it the salt, was it the spice, was it the rice, was it the garlic or tomatoes or the oil. Could you still have loved it had it been served frozen rather than hot? Does it therefore mean that what you liked was the heat in the food and not the meal itself?

People are many things. They are tall, short, old, young, rich, poor, with ugly feet, beautiful hands, long hair, good teeth, talkative, quiet, kind, funny, talented etc. All attributes we possess and circumstances we stand in are part and parcel of who we are. Take out one and the whole is changed. You would be a different person if you were younger or older, a different gender, taller or shorter, less intelligent or more intelligent. You would be a different person if you were more or less educated and yes you would be a different person if you were richer or poorer.

Mbugua and Wambui love each other and have been together for 8 years. They met and fell in love in the circumstances that they found themselves in. Love is a beautiful thing. Let us not scandalise it by dissecting it.

I find the above very sober and well-thought. I agreement with Vin on the same forum, I dare not add anything else. It's all and well said.

Let us acknowledge our diversity, but still be graceful enough to find unity sans myopic, stereotypical prejudices. May we appreciate every individual's worthwhile input to the bigger picture.

Have a productive week!