Understanding Celebrity and Success

This first appears as a guest post on the Kawi Snippets blog.

A week ago, fellow scribe Kawiria proposed that I do a guest post in the 'What's Your Story' section of this site. Well, who am I to deny such an affable, lovely lass some words we can hopefully learn from? What gives me that right?

"Mama mama nataka kuwa rapper,

Mtoto wee umenishinda,

Nataka kuwa famous kama Kalamashaka.

Je ukishindwa?

Please nitakupa kile unachotaka,

Nataka tu kuwakilisha hip-hop culture.

Acha kuwa mjinga, 

Ni sawa tu.

Next utaiba,

Si hata hiyo, ni sawa tu?"

- Nazizi, Ni Sawa Tu.

So began the song that introduced Nazizi to the Kenyan music scene. She would later be christened the First Lady of Kenyan Hip-Hop. With Wyre and Bamzigi (who later left), Necessary Noize topped charts in East Africa and brought us household anthems such as Bless ma Room, Shujaa, Kenyan Boy Kenyan Girl and several other hits.
This is just one example of someone who sought celebrity from the start, and thankfully got it.

Thing is, almost everyone wants to be famous. In fact, the 'Zuqka' pullout in Daily Nation has "Be Famous" as its tagline.
We are so attracted to fame and fortune, that we spend hours watching other people making money from TV shows that supposedly reveal their "ordinary" lives. We then wonder how these same people are successful while we are not, forgetting that we made them rich as we bummed on the couch, thus elevating their TV ratings, and buying their merchandise. For the uninformed, reality shows such as Keeping up with the Kardashians, Nicolle Richie & Paris Hilton's The Simple Life.. even The Bachelor or The Bachelorette - these are all scripted.

Here then, is my story when it comes to fame, fortune, popularity, success and the celebrity lifestyle.


Back in the Day
Growing up in the 80s and 90s, I was a victim of Tall Poppy Syndrome both at school and in my neighborhood. Unpleasant as it was, I do believe this is the single most important thing to have happened in my life.

For this reason, I did not succumb to peer influence, never got the chance to hang out a lot with neighbors and friends and ultimately, learned to restrict my support group to my immediate family and others whose well scrutinized objectives and intentions I could trust. I was taught early on in life to define my success, and to never let the noise of other people's opinions drown out my inner voice.

In high school and at University, the situation was somewhat remedied by the fact that I was amongst equals - at least academically. Here, merit is what determined one's progress and our backgrounds rarely interfered with how we related to one another.


Fame, Popularity and Celebrity
The reason I am telling you about my background is to illustrate how I have escaped being hopelessly beholden to fleeting and material possessions that the few use to elevate themselves and look down on the majority who opt not to think on their own.
Thankfully, I remain impervious to the sway that politicians, musicians, TV and Radio personalities, the filthy rich, actors and others wrongly considered celebrities, do have on the masses. Their lifestyle, shenanigans, and whatever else they are up to does not stop me from "kuria na kunyua" (eating and drinking) as we often say in my mother tongue.

Many of us have lost our sense of purpose and abandoned self esteem, unduly influenced by those we look up to as role models and blindly emulate. People whose lives are not worth celebrating are now what our youth hope to become when they grow up. The rich who amassed wealth by running down public companies and embezzling funds now pretend to guide the youth on how to become billionaires and business moguls. Politicians continue to flaunt their ill-gotten riches while Kenyans do not even pause and wonder how these guys got up there. What kind of sheeple have we become that do not even pause to think?

Precious Illusions
Looking at the current leadership we voted into office in 2013, it pains me to realize that very few of them are in office for the right reasons. At the workplace, few go to work every morning for any reason besides making money at end-month. Many Kenyans have hopelessly subscribed to a misleading quest for money at all costs, thanks to common stereotypes about 'making it' and success. It is for this reason that many have turned to crime, others continually fall for get-rich-schemes and our youth are now at the mercy of sensational and transient fads whose main appeal is making money and spending it as fast as possible, sans any thinking about securing the future. We are continually comparing ourselves to others and will do anything, including crime to outdo them.

We have so far forgotten that it makes more sense and effort to be a person of value and not of success. As Albert Einstein prompted many years ago, we need to examine ourselves yet again and re-order our priorities, asking ourselves? "What is really important?"

In May 2013, I wrote a post that detailed what I hope would be my legacy. This in no way should be any person else's legacy and I do not mean to impose my will on others who should have the presence of mind to make their own informed decisions.
What I continue to urge you reading this post is that we should take another keen look at what we place priorities on and aspire to be. Is it famous people of questionable character or is it deeds and initiatives that make the world much better? Are we willing to do anything, including criminal acts, to gain riches or can we instead take time to improve our social condition?


What drives you?
What does it mean to have succeeded?
Here is something from Bessie Stanley, but often attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson:

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

I end this post with some words from the man who wrote The Prince. Take time and give the following some serious thought:

"The great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
- Niccolo Machiavelli.

Thereafter, do the needful.


* * *


All said and done, do you still crave fame, popularity and celebrity status?
Is this allure influenced by your peers, role models or the very substance of what such a life entails? What does success mean to? We do believe that there are different strokes for different folk.. ni sawa tu.

Making It . . . Not. Dispelling Success Stereotypes

The most important things in life are not things.

At what point is a person considered successful?
Is success a destination, a process, achievements along the journey of meaning or part of a greater whole? If somebody has made it, is s/he successful, and what exactly does it mean to 'make it' or to succeed?

Is success a destination?

Success Stereotypes

A few years ago, I met with Alice, an enduring friend I got to know back in college. This was several years after we had both graduated, many months since drifting apart.

During this encounter, we took time to catch up and several of our mutual friends, their whereabouts and stations in life inevitably cropped up. "Kez is doing great!" Alice said. "She drives a big car and is married to a rich guy who imports electronics from Dubai." This went on for a while, and I couldn't help noticing the metrics Alice used to determine success.

"Imagine I bumped into Nzioka at Kencom the other day," she carried on. "Jamaa alikuwa ame-beat sio kidogo. He was catching a bus to Community, he is now a Civil Servant working with the Ministry of Health." At this point, I quickly imagined the kind of information she would volunteer about me, to other persons. "Watu wengi wa hizo miaka zetu wako poa lakini. Guys are doing well, you should see the furniture and decor at Mary's place in Kileleshwa. The rent is over 50k..." And she carried on and on.

Consumerism

Looking back at what Alice was saying, I realize that we live in a society that revolves around money - making as much of it as possible and in the shortest time, and then spending it in very visible ways - that would largely be considered successful.

Since we are largely wired to note things suddenly, and therefore overlook the time it takes and the effort that goes into things happening gradually, 'making it' has apparently taken the meaning of living relatively better off in comparison to one's peers. The operative word here is in comparison.

Consumerism has at one time been described as using money that one doesn't have to buy things that one doesn't need, to piss off people that one does not like, people who ironically, do not care about it at all.

For many people, they feel they have achieved something only when and if some money is made.
But is life all about making and spending money?

In the Season 13 episode 03 of South Park titled Margaritaville, Randy Marsh tries to explain the Economic Recession to his son Stan. Watch the clip below:



Highlighting Stan's explanation:

There's a bunch of idiots out there who weren't happy with what they had. They wanted a bigger house and, materialistic things that they didn't even need. People with no money, who got loans to buy frivolous things they had no business buying.
These assholes just blindly started buying any stupid thing that looked appealing because they thought money was endless.

The key driver of this endless spending and showing off is comparing oneself with others.

Unfortunately, despite knowing full well that stereotypes are dangerous, not many people can summon the courage to simply think differently, and thus define their own success by playing their own kind of music.

What Success is Made Of

What constitutes success?

I do not think there is a particular secret to success. Given that success itself means different things to different people in different circumstances,I strongly feel that success is a whole lot of things.

For instance, realizing several short term goals brings with it a feeling of success. Achievement in itself portrays success. Learning something new. Dreaming and having a vision inspires hope. Imagining and coming up with new ways of doing great things makes one feel successful. Creating avenues for and inspiring others to greater attainment and enlightenment is greatly fulfilling.

In line with the foregoing, success and 'making it' (whatever this means) are not only measurable through monetary means. Many elements of success are intangible. The satisfaction and ultimate fulfillment that comes with attainment are inherently of more value than money and material things.

What does success and making it mean to you?

Much more than the Sum of its Parts

"The whole is more than the sum of its parts."

- Aristotle [Metaphysica]

We know that if we each do a little more, we all do a lot more. This holds true for any joint effort such as brainstorming, crowd-sourcing, team sports, academic discussions... and more.

It however gets a little bit interesting when we consider stereotypes. In this skewed way of looking at things, we focus on one [usually negative or wanting] attribute, and base our entire outlook and judgments on it.

In Kenya, people of a particular ethnic extraction may be perceived as proud, lazy, promiscuous, unromantic or greedy, among other undesirable traits. We still go ahead and inspired by prejudice, dislike individuals for belonging to ethnic communities which are generally believed to have the aforementioned traits.

The recently solemnized wedding of 36 year old Peter Mbugua and 75 year old Wambui Otieno Mbugua at St Andrews Church in Nairobi has been widely discussed on radio and across the Internet. People have voiced their divergent opinions, many of them typically based on stereotypes and popular opinion.

My attention was however drawn to this post by one member [Kusadikika] on the Wazua forum. He/she writes:

Have you ever eaten a delicious meal of say Pilau after which you are left smacking your lips thinking "tamu sana"? Would it make sense if someone later asked you what is it you found delicious; was it the salt, was it the spice, was it the rice, was it the garlic or tomatoes or the oil. Could you still have loved it had it been served frozen rather than hot? Does it therefore mean that what you liked was the heat in the food and not the meal itself?

People are many things. They are tall, short, old, young, rich, poor, with ugly feet, beautiful hands, long hair, good teeth, talkative, quiet, kind, funny, talented etc. All attributes we possess and circumstances we stand in are part and parcel of who we are. Take out one and the whole is changed. You would be a different person if you were younger or older, a different gender, taller or shorter, less intelligent or more intelligent. You would be a different person if you were more or less educated and yes you would be a different person if you were richer or poorer.

Mbugua and Wambui love each other and have been together for 8 years. They met and fell in love in the circumstances that they found themselves in. Love is a beautiful thing. Let us not scandalise it by dissecting it.

I find the above very sober and well-thought. I agreement with Vin on the same forum, I dare not add anything else. It's all and well said.

Let us acknowledge our diversity, but still be graceful enough to find unity sans myopic, stereotypical prejudices. May we appreciate every individual's worthwhile input to the bigger picture.

Have a productive week!