Why Bad things Happen to Good People

Two weeks ago, I watched "I'm in love with a Church Girl", starring Jeff "Ja Rule" Atkins and Adrienne Bailon.

Based on a real life situation, it is the story of former drug dealer Miles Montego, whose past deeds and friends, present travail and an uncertain future all get in the way of his love for Vanessa, who is a born again girl from a staunch Christian family.

A profound moment in the movie above is when Miles, having lost his mother, had his friends arrested, and a freak accident that puts Vanessa in a comma, loudly wonders why all these trials and tribulations are coming his way.
Especially just when he has decided to set things right in his life.


As I write this, one of my best friends is quite unwell. She has been battling both mental and physical ailments for over a decade now, thanks to a most undeserved assault on her person, her innocence and her soul at the delicate age of nine.

I have for long wondered why this had to happen to her, of all people. My affection for her aside, she is such a lovely and pleasant person who in my considered opinion doesn't deserve any of this.

But then again, life is filled with disturbing cases where those who do despicable wrongs seem to get away with it while innocent people get to burden seemingly insurmountable odds and endure untold suffering.
Poetic justice, it seems, only happens in literary works.

But would it be prudent to believe that even the bad that happens in life is for the greater good?
Evil never wins in his books, says Dean Koontz. He invariably provides hope and light in the course of his stories, inasmuch as many of the novels are horror and suspense thrillers. Light does triumph in the end.






The story of Job in the Bible is one enduring example of how bad seemed to overpower good.
And no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves that life is at times cruel


Why not me?

A few years before he passed on, the acclaimed author Chinua Achebe spoke to the BBC's Veronique Edwards. By this time, he was wheelchair bound following a road accident that left him largely paralyzed.

She asked what he felt about that incident, if he was resentful. His was an answer I find very, very inspiring:





When you feel that bad things should not happen to you, do you have someone in mind who does deserve the misfortune and suffering?


Wider shoulders, not a lighter load






While eulogizing Joe Biden's son Beau, US President Barack Obama shared a profound insight about how best to handle the heavy burdens on our shoulders. He said:

Without love, life can be cold and it can be cruel. Sometimes cruelty is deliberate –- the action of bullies or bigots, or the inaction of those indifferent to another’s pain. But often, cruelty is simply born of life, a matter of fate or God’s will, beyond our mortal powers to comprehend. To suffer such faceless, seemingly random cruelty can harden the softest hearts, or shrink the sturdiest. It can make one mean, or bitter, or full of self-pity. Or, to paraphrase an old proverb, it can make you beg for a lighter burden.

But if you’re strong enough, it can also make you ask God for broader shoulders; shoulders broad enough to bear not only your own burdens, but the burdens of others; shoulders broad enough to shield those who need shelter the most.

In view of the aforementioned, I am reminded that bad things happen to good people so that we who are in a position of advantage can stand in the gap for them, lend a hand, actually empathize and make their day better or their load lighter.

In other words, so that we can be strong for the weak, share with those who lack and make their fight our fight.



Is there a reason for pain?

In his poem 'On Pain', Khalil Gibran outlines the role of pain in helping us better understand ourselves. Through pain, we can appreciate the times and seasons in our lives when things may either be bad or good.

Here it is:

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.


Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

For me, painful moments are a reminder of better days both past and anticipated. It reminds me to always make the most of what I currently have given that others are not as fortunate, and that even I won't always have it all downhill.

For that reason, I cannot afford to not make hay while the sun shines.

In the book of Ecclesiastes, we find a very appropriate way to dealt with times both good and bad.

When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future.
- Ecclesiastes 7:14.

What do you think?

PS: For you FGN. Your best days are ahead of you. All of this is for a reason. A good one I believe. It sure hurts and it isn't easy. But it is worth it.


* * *

Every single time I think about what it takes to make some things what they are meant to be, I quickly realize that it is the struggle that makes a butterfly strong enough to fly after it emerges from the pupa.
Some things have to be broken for the good within to be revealed. For us too, some of the difficulties in life, even when not deserved, has a reason. HEre's Mary J Blige featuring Jay Sean in 'Each Tear'

Grandma Transition Memorial... 2 Years On.

Two years ago today, my grandma passed on at the ripe age of 98 years.
At the time, I wrote an RIP Grandma post on The Walkabout.

Looking back, I can only thank God for all her days, which epitomized a life well lived.
At the time of her death, she was blind, highly dependent and quite immobile. I however believe that she passed on to a place where she would see clearly and no longer be subject to human frailties. As Hellen Keller said:

"Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see."

I also believe that grandma's life was a success, and in recognition, I share the following poem which is near always misattributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson.

To laugh often and love much;
to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children;
to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty;
to find the best in others; to give of one’s self;
to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation;
to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived — this is to have succeeded.

Here is a site where you can read more about who actually wrote the above poem.

For those who know me or otherwise knew grandma, please take a moment and join me in thanking God for all the days she walked this earth.
This year, she would have been 100 years old. I am however immensely glad that during her days, she was able to achieve so much, most of which some of us still living today can only dream of.

That said, kindly look back at the previous post and do the needful to make today a day well lived.

Today Well Lived

I've just come across the following poem, which I find most profound.
For me, such a chance, random read presents yet another chance to find modern truth in ancient wisdom.

Now, who am I to not share?
Be edified:

Look Well to This Day

Look well to this day,
For it and it alone is life.
In its brief course
Lie all the essence of your existence:

The Glory of Growth
The Satisfaction of Achievement
The Splendor of Beauty

For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is but a vision.
But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.

- Anonymous, 50 B.C.

Have a great weekend guys.

Africa Day: Something to Think About

"The city and the country,

Alarmed at one common danger,

Came forth to meet it."

- Barack Obama [on his Jan 20, 2009 inauguration Speech]

Today is Africa Day, the annual commemoration of the 1963 founding of the Organization of African Unity (OAU). Currently known as the Africa Union with 53 member states, it seeks to bring together the African continent to collectively address various challenges. These include, but are not limited to poverty, armed conflict, disease epidemics, political upheavals, basic needs and poverty. More Africa Day info...

As an African, it saddens me to realize that many of the above challenges still face Africans. Even worse, not much is being done both at an individual and collective level to address these concerns.
For those who dare try, policy makers often fail to offer support or even become a stumbling block, thanks to corruption, bad governance, patronage and self interest.

One way we can improve Africa is through self realization, and strongly believing is our own ability to make things better. When we first believe in ourselves as individuals, and do the needful with the goal of amelioration, we can then collectively make Africa better.

A few years ago, Gidigidi Majimaji released the Ismarwa album. Prior to this, they had released Unbwogable and Many Faces albums.

Fikira is a poem is Ismarwa, which challenges Africans to wake up, stop despising ourselves and start believing in our ability to sort out our own issues.

Following is the full text:

FIKIRA

Afrika tumelala
Tuko kwenye ndoto, ndoto ya ajabu
Tutalala mpaka lini?
Amka Afrika, amka kumekucha.
Haujashtuka, haujagutuka

Hebu jiulize
Nimetoka wapi, na ninaelekea wapi?
Kila kitu si changu,
Sina ninacho, na ninacho, sina.
Gari ninalopanda, sikuliunda,
Nguo ninazovaa, sikuzishona,
Vitabu ninavyosoma, sikuvibuni.
Nikitaka amani, naomba msaada
Nikitaka fedha, naomba msaada

Tutaomba mpaka lini Afrika?
Tumekuwa watumwa
Tutajidharau mpaka lini Afrika?
Mbona hatujiamini?
Amka Afrika.
Kumekucha!

Listen to a preview of Fikira or get the entire Ismarwa album on iTunes.

So fellow African, what are you doing to make both your life and Africa a better place?

The Need to Play Your Part

Only when we simultaneously play our respective roles do we collectively become a whole that's more than the sum of its parts.

As I was reading Andrew Brown's piece titled 'Why life without faith is impossible' on the Guardian's Comment is Free yesterday, I was reminded of just how much we depend on one another for our lives to be complete.

We are highly interdependent, we simply cannot get everything done all by ourselves. Functional societies and communities exist when each member proceeds to his own duty with a trust that the other members will simultaneously do theirs.

Giiving it further thought, I asked myself how then, in spite of the roles others play to enhance our lives, we still fail to achieve common purpose.

How the Minority Defeats the Majority

Ironically, the few usually control the many. All over the world, a small minority controls the bulk of the wealth, a small band of thugs can terrorize an entire neighborhood, and most importantly, a very small number of politicians can run down an entire country.

Even when faced with a common danger, one person is still able to manipulate many others as happened in House of 9.

Imagine a hostage situation. A bus carrying over sixty passengers is hijacked by five thugs, armed with crude weapons.
How are these thugs able to control these passengers who outnumber them by a ratio that's greater than 1:12?
According to Andrew Brown, the passengers are easily defeated thanks to the following:

because the highwaymen [thugs] can count on one another, while each passenger fears that if he makes a movement of resistance, he will be shot before any one else backs him up.

The Magic of Teamwork

Teamwork, we all know, works by dividing the effort and multiplying the effect. In other words, when we each do a little more, we all do a lot more.

That said however, there are reasons why we do not fully exploit the spirit of teamwork:

1. We are mostly self-seeking. With every person for himself, nobody does that which will benefit others. We are not altruistic.


2. We refuse to stand in harm's way or take the fall, for the sake of others. Very few are unwilling to take one for the team. Nobody is willing to sacrifice anything for others.


3. Unlike the thugs in the aforementioned example, we lack the assurance that others will watch our backs. There is no motivation to look out for others as well.

Playing Our Roles

The need to play our roles in life cannot be gainsaid. Whereas it may not be very clear to us, what we do invariably has an effect on others. Sometimes, this effect is both far reaching and long lasting.

The onus is therefore upon us to make sure that we do the needful in life, because only then can altruism and sacrifice have true meaning. Go ahead and play your role, no matter how irrelevant and insignificant it may seem. It all starts with you.