Understanding Our Choices and Decisions

 Well, this will be a quick one. 

Back in June 2016, we published a post about understanding our choices. It prominently features content from The Matrix Reloaded movie, plus some highlights from BBC Radio's 'In Our Time' and a TED Talk by Barry Schwartz.

We live in a world where we are actively encouraged to make decisions. In fact, there is a psychology of choice, whose focus is making easier decisions.

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We have revisited that post in view of the new 'Walkabout Weekly Digest' podcast from Complit Communications.

In the second episode of the podcast, we shall explore a better understanding of our choices and decisions. S01E02: Understanding Our Choices and Decisions will be available on Sunday, March 13.

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Every once in a while, we get a chance to walk a different road, or to sing our own song. No matter how difficult or easy it is to make such decisions, it all starts with making that initial move...

Understanding the Choices we Make

Apparently, making a choice is only the first (and easy step) when it comes to informed and independent decision making.

Oracle: Candy?
Neo: You already know if I'm going to take it?
Oracle: [I] wouldn't be much of an Oracle if I didn't.
Neo: But if you already know, how can I make a choice?
Oracle: Because you didn't come here to make the choice, you've already made it. You're here to try to understand why you made it.

The Matrix trilogy (The Matrix, The Matrix Reloaded and Matrix Revolutions) is one of those movies you keep watching every once in a while, and every new time, you better understand or learn something new.
It is for this reason that it permanently resides on my hard drive.

The central theme in The Matrix is human consciousness in the age of Artificial Intelligence.
The scene above is from Matrix Reloaded.

Later on in the dialogue, the Oracle says the following:

We can never see past the choices we don't understand.

I often think above these words, which makes manifest the enduring truth in the above statement - that making a choice is only the first step in decision making.


Informed Choices

Proper decision making is usually associated with free will and knowledge or understanding. Only then can one make informed choices.

As for free will, it is largely an illusion. Concerted psychological and philosophical research has so far showed exactly that. For a better understanding, listen to Melvyn Bragg and his guests discussing Free Will on In Our Time, on BBC Radio 4.


Does Having Many Choices Help?

Many will argue that having more options to choose from makes decision making somewhat easier. Well, that is sadly not the case. Too many choices actually result in something called choice paralysis.

Choice paralysis was well tackled by Barry Schwartz in his TED Talk in 2007.





This paradox of choice, however, has also been disputed.

So how can decision making be made easier?

Well, Sheena Iyengar has addressed this in two TED Talks. One is on how to make choosing easier in 2011, which was a follow up to her 2010 talk on The Art of Choosing.

All in all, how to decide is not exactly an easy task. Making choices can, and does result in decision fatigue. The Umbel blog outlines 7 steps that can help you in deciding how to decide:

• clearly define measurable goals
• recognize that your brain has tendencies and biases
• set a date or time to make your final decision
• seek expert advice; find out what others are doing to achieve similar goals
• identify alternative methods of achieving your goal
• check your gut
• satisfice yourself.

In case you're wondering, this is what satisfice means:

verb

1. (intransitive) to act in such a way as to satisfy the minimum requirements for achieving a particular result

2. (transitive) ( obsolete) to satisfy

 
Understanding Our Choices

Having made a (hopefully right) choice, the more important aspect of decision making then comes into play - understanding that choice.

Let's delve into this with an example that will illustrate how making choices without bothering to understand them can be dangerous.

Imagine a young man or woman who upon graduation, gets a well-paying job in a prestigious company. He proceeds to live in a leafy suburb in Nairobi.
He then fully succumbs to the bright lights, big city way of life - drugs, drinking, fast women and fancy cars... all in an effort to live on the fastlane.

Soon enough, this reckless living catches up with our friend - debt, poor health, mental anguish and alienation from his fair-weather friends. He has indeed made all these choices, nothing has been done under duress. But he could never see past the choices he did not understand.

That, in essence, is how we all miss out on the inevitable consequences of our choices and the acts that are predicated on such choices.
It all boils down to making an effort, if only to understand the choices that we routinely make.


* * *

The fact that we may not be in a position to fully exercise independent free will should not be an excuse to making not only the right choices, but choices that we understand.

In lieu of this, we become quick to judge and slow to learn.  We run ahead, but go too slow.
But everything's not lost, and there is hope. If only we take a different road.

Why Bad things Happen to Good People

Two weeks ago, I watched "I'm in love with a Church Girl", starring Jeff "Ja Rule" Atkins and Adrienne Bailon.

Based on a real life situation, it is the story of former drug dealer Miles Montego, whose past deeds and friends, present travail and an uncertain future all get in the way of his love for Vanessa, who is a born again girl from a staunch Christian family.

A profound moment in the movie above is when Miles, having lost his mother, had his friends arrested, and a freak accident that puts Vanessa in a comma, loudly wonders why all these trials and tribulations are coming his way.
Especially just when he has decided to set things right in his life.


As I write this, one of my best friends is quite unwell. She has been battling both mental and physical ailments for over a decade now, thanks to a most undeserved assault on her person, her innocence and her soul at the delicate age of nine.

I have for long wondered why this had to happen to her, of all people. My affection for her aside, she is such a lovely and pleasant person who in my considered opinion doesn't deserve any of this.

But then again, life is filled with disturbing cases where those who do despicable wrongs seem to get away with it while innocent people get to burden seemingly insurmountable odds and endure untold suffering.
Poetic justice, it seems, only happens in literary works.

But would it be prudent to believe that even the bad that happens in life is for the greater good?
Evil never wins in his books, says Dean Koontz. He invariably provides hope and light in the course of his stories, inasmuch as many of the novels are horror and suspense thrillers. Light does triumph in the end.






The story of Job in the Bible is one enduring example of how bad seemed to overpower good.
And no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves that life is at times cruel


Why not me?

A few years before he passed on, the acclaimed author Chinua Achebe spoke to the BBC's Veronique Edwards. By this time, he was wheelchair bound following a road accident that left him largely paralyzed.

She asked what he felt about that incident, if he was resentful. His was an answer I find very, very inspiring:





When you feel that bad things should not happen to you, do you have someone in mind who does deserve the misfortune and suffering?


Wider shoulders, not a lighter load






While eulogizing Joe Biden's son Beau, US President Barack Obama shared a profound insight about how best to handle the heavy burdens on our shoulders. He said:

Without love, life can be cold and it can be cruel. Sometimes cruelty is deliberate –- the action of bullies or bigots, or the inaction of those indifferent to another’s pain. But often, cruelty is simply born of life, a matter of fate or God’s will, beyond our mortal powers to comprehend. To suffer such faceless, seemingly random cruelty can harden the softest hearts, or shrink the sturdiest. It can make one mean, or bitter, or full of self-pity. Or, to paraphrase an old proverb, it can make you beg for a lighter burden.

But if you’re strong enough, it can also make you ask God for broader shoulders; shoulders broad enough to bear not only your own burdens, but the burdens of others; shoulders broad enough to shield those who need shelter the most.

In view of the aforementioned, I am reminded that bad things happen to good people so that we who are in a position of advantage can stand in the gap for them, lend a hand, actually empathize and make their day better or their load lighter.

In other words, so that we can be strong for the weak, share with those who lack and make their fight our fight.



Is there a reason for pain?

In his poem 'On Pain', Khalil Gibran outlines the role of pain in helping us better understand ourselves. Through pain, we can appreciate the times and seasons in our lives when things may either be bad or good.

Here it is:

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.


Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

For me, painful moments are a reminder of better days both past and anticipated. It reminds me to always make the most of what I currently have given that others are not as fortunate, and that even I won't always have it all downhill.

For that reason, I cannot afford to not make hay while the sun shines.

In the book of Ecclesiastes, we find a very appropriate way to dealt with times both good and bad.

When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future.
- Ecclesiastes 7:14.

What do you think?

PS: For you FGN. Your best days are ahead of you. All of this is for a reason. A good one I believe. It sure hurts and it isn't easy. But it is worth it.


* * *

Every single time I think about what it takes to make some things what they are meant to be, I quickly realize that it is the struggle that makes a butterfly strong enough to fly after it emerges from the pupa.
Some things have to be broken for the good within to be revealed. For us too, some of the difficulties in life, even when not deserved, has a reason. HEre's Mary J Blige featuring Jay Sean in 'Each Tear'

Angels and Life's Crossroads

'Angels are dispatched from heaven to inspire people who are at a crossroads in their lives.'

First off, this is a comeback post. I haven't posted on The Walkabout since January 2015.
A lot has happened since that time. There has been so much to write about, and it is my hope that I'll be able to distill all the insight, inspiration and self discovery that has been piling up in my Draft Posts. All in all, I'll endeavor to make regular posts.
That in itself, is a good thing.

Another good thing is that we're having an exciting addition on this journey, on this blog. This person has a more inspiring story to tell than I ever could.
I honestly cannot wait to read my friend's first post, and many more for days and years to come.

* * *

Well, I do have a copy of the Devotional Study Bible, NIV version. I read it every once in a while, unlike years past when I spent time with it every single evening. Not that I no longer read the good book, I still do. I just happen to have a more accessible one - the ever present YouVersion Bible on my Android device.

Isaiah is my favorite book, and this is how it is introduced:

This eloquent prophet lived at a time when the nation of Judah could either regain its footing or begin a dangerous slide downwards. Isaiah was uncompromising, and his "telling it as it is" eventually cost him his life. It is believed that King Manasseh had him fastened between two planks of wood and his body was sawed in half.


Truth be told, we often find ourselves at a crossroads. At times, we feel that we have no choice and have to wade through the murky inevitability that Catch-22 situations bring with them.

And before you say that one always has a choice in any given situation, some choices may be as difficult as a Buridan's ass choice or as limiting as a Hobson's Horse option.
All in all, life is inundated with circumstances that call for external input and much needed assistance.

It is during such situations that you get to meet people. People who are in situations where you can actually help. People who have a genuine need that in your heart of hearts, do realize you can help meet.

You look around and quickly realize that there is indeed a method to the madness that life can at times be. That things indeed happen for a reason. And as Esther came to realize many years ago,

And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?

Earlier in the verse (Esther 4:14) the matter of failing to do the needful is addressed. For Esther, relief and deliverance for the Jews would've come from someplace else but her family would have perished.
Thing is, it is never by accident that you get to meet some people in your life. It is always for a reason.




As always, I am allowed to go back to LOST, which inspired the very first post on The Walkabout.
Here, we meet Jack and Locke expressing varied viewpoints about what possibly brought them all into the mysterious island after Oceanic Flight 815 crashed. It is for a reason and a purpose, says Locke in this video.


All in all, life's happenings are always for a reason. It is upon you to find out how the circumstances you find yourself in, and those with whom you interact, are meant to bring out your purpose and your destiny.
Take time and find out why you're meeting the very people life keeps bringing your way. There is a reason why. And once you find out the reason, be sure to do the needful.

I end with Graham's famous opening lines in the movie Crash:

It's the sense of touch... I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.

PS: This one is for you F.G.N.
Thank you.


* * *


Touched by an Angel was a popular show on KTN Kenya some years back. I rarely watched it, but still purpose to someday get the DVD set and experience all these angels.
Meanwhile, in a song I first heard in 1999 on Family FM, one of these angels, Della Reese, already promises to walk with you...

Today Well Lived

I've just come across the following poem, which I find most profound.
For me, such a chance, random read presents yet another chance to find modern truth in ancient wisdom.

Now, who am I to not share?
Be edified:

Look Well to This Day

Look well to this day,
For it and it alone is life.
In its brief course
Lie all the essence of your existence:

The Glory of Growth
The Satisfaction of Achievement
The Splendor of Beauty

For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is but a vision.
But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.

- Anonymous, 50 B.C.

Have a great weekend guys.

Time to Think Again

Slightly over two years ago, I wrote this post on The Walkabout, about a most profound book. Aptly titled  Critical Thinking: Tools For Taking Charge Of Your Professional And Personal Life, the book is all about our thoughts, especially how they affect our development and ultimately, the quality of our lives. It then behooves us to channel and leverage our thinking such that we are in charge of our lives.

At the time, I even gave a few copies free to some of our readers.

This book is one of those you keep getting back to read, if only to refresh whatever you have so far gained from it. In this regard, it is worth noting that there is something new to gain every time I take another look at it's priceless insights.

You are What You Think
That's what the good people at CriticalThinking.org say in introducing this book.

Everything you do in life is determined by the quality of your thinking. If you aren't thinking clearly, you're at the mercy of everyone else-from dishonest politicians to aggressive, stop-at-nothing ad agencies. Unfortunately, many people never give any thought to how they think. No wonder they're susceptible to the frustration, pain, ineffectiveness, and financial loss that result directly from poorly considered thinking. Critical Thinking is about becoming a better thinker in every aspect of your life-as a professional, as a consumer, citizen, friend, parent, and even as a lover.

Following is a snapshot of what you'll find inside this awesome book:

Acknowledgment Preface
Ch. 1:    Thinking in a World of Accelerating Change and Intensifying Danger
Ch. 2:    Becoming a Critic of Your Thinking
Ch. 3:    Becoming a Fair-Minded Thinker
Ch. 4:    Self-Understanding
Ch. 5:    The First Four Stages of Development: What Level Thinker are You?
Ch. 6:    The Parts of Thinking
Ch. 7:    The Standards for Thinking
Ch. 8:    Design Your Life
Ch. 9:    The Art of Making Intelligent Decisions
Ch. 10: Taking Charge of Your Irrational Tendencies
Ch. 11:  Monitoring Your Sociocentric Tendencies
Ch. 12:  Developing as an Ethical Reasoner
Ch. 13:  Analyzing and Evaluating Thinking in Corporate and Organizational Life
Ch. 14:  The Power and Limits of Professional Knowledge (And of the Disciplines that Underlie Them)
Ch. 15:  Strategic Thinking Part One
Ch. 16:  Strategic Thinking Part Two
Glossary: A Guide to Critical Thinking Terms and Concepts References

The Challenge
What kind of a thinker are you?
In writing Critical Thinking: Tools for Taking Charge of Your Professional and Personal Life, Richard W. Paul and Linda Elder detail the six stages of thinking. These are:

• Stage 1 The Unreflective Thinker (we are unaware of significant problems in our thinking)
• Stage 2 The Challenged Thinker (we become aware of problems in our thinking)
• Stage 3 The Beginning Thinker (we try to improve, but without regular practice)
• Stage 4 The Practicing Thinker (we recognize the necessity of regular practice)
• Stage 5 The Advanced Thinker (we advance in accordance with our practice)
• Stage 6 The Master Thinker (skilled and insightful thinking becomes second nature)

I very strongly recommend that you get a copy of this book. "Why?" you ask. My answer: You are what you think. It is the quality of your thinking that determines all else.

A Long Term Approach in Life

The Second Habit

Stephen Covey's Second Habit states:

Begin with the End in Mind

The above short statement underscores the importance of having goals in whatever we engage in. It's interesting that the word goals becomes relevant largely when talking about careers, and other big projects in life. I however want to make the case for having goals, and taking a long term approach in many of our decisions.

Envisioning how things will be years from now is indeed a noble thing.

Relationships and Fellowship

It has been documented that over and above work, it is those who we relate with that end up having a profound impact in our lives. Late last year, I was discussing with a friend, about the importance of actually purposing to become someone's friend.

This may not seem like something worth thinking about. It however becomes increasing clear that we need to be ready and willing to make the friendships work, largely by giving sans expecting payback for our benevolence.

Planting Trees...

Well, it is not Green Kenya stuff I'm getting into here.

A few weeks ago, some friends asked me to prune some trees outside my house and sell them the branches for firewood. I declined. My reasons were rather simple - 1) the trees in question will be needed for other uses several years from now and 2) I do not have replacements right now, whatever trees I have recently planted are too young. One of them reminded me that I may not live long enough to use those trees if I keep on saying such stuff.

All this got me thinking, "Do we only live for the here and now, with no regard for the future?" Furthermore, must our future be assured so that we can do good things that might outlive us?

I was reminded of a favorite wise saying that the essence of a life well lived is planting trees under whose shade we do not intend to sit.

The Challenge

The onus is therefore upon us to do things that will not only benefit us, by taking a long term approach to life.

What say you?

The Nature of Violence, and How We can Reduce it

Premise: Following various reports of heinous crimes being committed in our country, and the recent confession by a former G4S employee of killing 17 people, many Kenyans are shocked at the frequency and intensity of violence.

Violent Times

Many people believe that we live in especially violent times. But is this true? To better understand this, we need to distinguish violence against other people and against things. In fact, the concept of using force [read violence] to realize law and order in civil societies is in many situations inspired by a mood as violent as that which it claims to fight.


Heightened Awareness

All in all, rising crime continues to be much discussed, with statistics frightening many people. Hate and destructiveness are impulses which obscure rational and objective thinking and easily create a polarization, by reinforcing each other.  


Is Violence Inherent?

1) An affirmative answer has been maintained from Hobbes to Freud to Lorenz. Those who subscribe to this school of thought maintain that aggression and destructiveness are innate, directed toward self or toward others.

 2) A counterview asserts that man is good by nature, and only destructive because social circumstances corrupt him. Others assert that aggressiveness is learned. This was the thinking that was popularized by psychological experts during the age of enlightenment.

3) A third view, originally presented by John Dollard, maintains that aggression is always occasioned by frustration. Despite all the above however, some individuals and societies have either very high or very low levels of violence.  


The case with Humans

The theory that violence is hereditary and has been passed down generations is found wanting, upon the observation that other mammals, especially primates are less aggressive and destructive than man. Human destructiveness is consistently more frequent and intense. It can therefore only be explained as a result of specific conditions on our existence, not animal hereditary or as a neurophysical necessity.

Types of Human Aggressiveness

• Reactive or defensive aggressiveness - when vital interests are threatened.


• Lustful aggressiveness - sadism, and cruel desire to exercise absolute control over others


• Necrophilia - a cold, unalive attraction to death, decay, sickness and the mechanical

Controlling Destructiveness  

Main causes of Violence

• Feeling of anxiety


• mechanization of life, where thinking and reasoning are much separated


• powerlessness of individuals


• contradiction between values professed and what is acted

Control Measures

• individuals should cease to feel powerless


• compulsive consumption should be reduced


• humanization of our technological society


• society must serve human ends - growth and development of humans


• emotions and reason should be brought together

In a nutshell

Reduction of violence will be achieved not through an increased control of aggression and violence, but reduction of destructiveness and violence. This is best done by making individual and social life more meaningful and human. Note: This post has been condensed from the article "The Nature of Violence" by Eric Fromm

Searching for and Finding Meaning and Hope even in Life's Struggles

"The will to meaning is the basic motivation for human life." -

Viktor Frankl (Holocaust survivor)

A Better Understanding

Seeking meaning and purpose is perhaps the singular reason that human beings progress. This is what makes life worth living, as we seek a deeper understanding of ourselves and life, despite its attendant complexities.

Even in the face of suffering, humanity is still defined by a will that is largely predicated on this very search for wisdom, purpose and direction.

Cries from the Heart

As we encounter many things in life, we still keep believing that there are answers to many of life's questions. At times, we get drained and want more while on this search. But we still continue to believe.

While some seek understanding in the sciences, technology and varied belief systems, others search within. Still, others seek answers from the supernatural or from a higher power. All these are Cries from the Heart which have continued since time began.

Stories of Struggle and Hope

Human struggle is as ubiquitous as the air we breath. It is indeed true that life is not a bed of roses. And even when we insist on looking and focusing on the roses amongst thorns, we cannot wish away the thorns which keep pricking our sides, we still have to attend to various pertinent issues in our lives.

Cries from the Heart is a book written by Johanne Christoph Arnold. He is a counsellor and pastor who has served over twenty five years. He has written several other books, many of which you can get on his website.

Book Contents

CONTENTS

to the reader 7

foreword 9

1. searching – God finds an atheist 11

2. finding – is someone really there? 18

3. believing – even when children die? 24

4. universality – call it what you will 31

5. god’s messengers – angels at work 38

6. emotional suffering – when you can’t pray 45

7. illness – where the doctor leaves off 54

8. despair – talking to a wall 69

9. attitude – thank God I’m not like that! 83

10. reverence – meet your maker 95

11. letting go – my will be done 105

12. remorse – when you’ve messed up 114

13. protection – alive to tell it 126

14. selflessness – someone needs you 134

15. service – words are not enough 140

16. contemplation – be quiet and listen 149

17. worship – giving thanks in a death camp 160

18. unity – divided we fall 166

19. marriage – unlocking horns 171

20. unanswered prayer – isn’t “no” an answer? 179

21. miracles – what do you expect? 186

22. prayer in daily life – keeping the faith 199

23. faithfulness – one thing never changes 207

Get the FREE eBook

Let me know if you'd like me to Email you this eBook. You can however download it directly at ChristophArnold.com.

I hope you'll like it and find it worth your while. Be sure to share with others too.

Happy reading!

The Sex and Love Addiction Quagmire

NOTE:
This is the final post in my 3-part Valentines Day series. Read the First part and the Second part here.

I used to laugh whenever I read or heard that a certain celebutard had checked himself into a Sex Rehab facility. Tiger Woods, Eric Benét, Charlie Sheen... and the list goes on.

As I grew up and read more, I became more enlightened and open-minded. While in campus, a random book quickly turned into a gem that has so far liberated me emotionally, and helped me take charge of my love life. A love life which I must say, is quite simple but most uncommon.

That said, I bet I can now safely assume that you the reader, are now more open minded in regard to this very unconventional and searching perspective on our sex and love lives.



What is Love and Sex Addiction?

In his book Sex & Love: Addiction, Treatment and Recovery, Eric Griffin-Shelley notes that many of us are very hesitant to label someone an addict, owing to the stereotypes we have of addicts. We instead prefer to refer to these defects of character as "bad habits", something we find more palatable and socially acceptable.

The word addict has a Latin root, ad dictum, which means "to the dictator." When people were captured and sent into slavery, they were sent ad dictum. The idea of addiction as enslavement is something to which most addicts would readily agree. When you are addicted, you feel that you have no choice and are powerless to stop. Addicts are out of balance and out of control.

An addiction is an enslavement to an activity, person, or thing that is characterized by imbalance, lack of control, loss of power, distortion of values, inflexible centralness to the person's life, unhealthiness, pathology, chronicity, progression, and potential fatality. More simply put, an addict is a person who cannot say "no."

A sex and love addict cannot say "no" to his or her impulses to have sex or get into a love relationship. An addict is a person whose thoughts and behaviors are causing problems but who cannot stop them. In addition to these definitions, a sex and love addiction involves a high, tolerance, craving, dependence, withdrawal, obsession, compulsion, secrecy, and a personality change.

A Fearless Moral Inventory

"The unexamined life is not worth living."
- Socrates

Many of us have for a long time mistaken their sex and love addictions as a normal human need to love and be loved, to have company and to be in a meaningful relationship.

The biggest hindrance to tackling the sex and love addictions that many people are in, is the fact that sex and love matters are rarely discussed. Far too many people prefer to handle their own matters of the heart, which unfortunately is to their peril.

The 4th Step in most addicts anonymous recovery programs is a searching and fearless moral inventory of one's life. This then becomes a habitual thing, as espoused in step 10 where one continues to take personal inventory, and promptly admits when they find out they are wrong.

Following are the 12 Characteristics of Sex and Love addicts:

1 Having few healthy boundaries, we become sexually involved with and/or emotionally attached to people without knowing them.
2 Fearing abandonment and loneliness, we stay in and return to painful, destructive relationships, concealing our dependency needs from ourselves and others, growing more isolated and alienated from friends and loved ones, ourselves, and God.
3 Fearing emotional and/or sexual deprivation, we compulsively pursue and involve ourselves in one relationship after another, sometimes having more than one sexual or emotional liaison at a time.
4 We confuse love with neediness, physical and sexual attraction, pity and/or the need to rescue or be rescued.
5 We feel empty and incomplete when we are alone. Even though we fear intimacy and commitment, we continually search for relationships and sexual contacts.
6 We sexualize stress, guilt, loneliness, anger, shame, fear and envy. We use sex or emotional dependence as substitutes for nurturing, care, and support.
7 We use sex and emotional involvement to manipulate and control others.
8 We become immobilized or seriously distracted by romantic or sexual obsessions or fantasies.
9 We avoid responsibility for ourselves by attaching ourselves to people who are emotionally unavailable.
10 We stay enslaved to emotional dependency, romantic intrigue, or compulsive sexual activities.
11 To avoid feeling vulnerable, we may retreat from all intimate involvement, mistaking sexual and emotional anorexia for recovery.
12 We assign magical qualities to others. We idealize and pursue them, then blame them for not fulfilling our fantasies and expectations.

If you still have lingering doubts whether or not you are an addict, you may want to ask yourself the more searching 40 Questions for Self Diagnosis.
Don't be surprised when you realize most of your answers are YES.

A Willingness to Change

"Now willing to listen and take suggestions, I have found that the process of discovering who I really am begins with knowing who I really don't want to be.
I have grown emotionally and intellectually. It has give me my sanity and an all-around sense of balance."
- Safe Haven (Personal Stories in the A.A. Big Book)

If you have gotten this far in this note, you may be wondering why all the details.
The reason is simple: It's not fitting to try to address a problem that is not well defined. As of now, you have found out exactly where you lie [no pun intended] in this sex and love addiction business.

Given what we now know, many would only want to change for better.
Additionally, you'll walk into Valentines well-knowing exactly what your affection for the other part(y)ies is. Is it genuine, healthy love, or a destructive sex and love addiction?

The good news is that you are not alone. Many others are seeking the same answers in their efforts to find meaning in their lives.

It is my believe that once enlightened, many people display an amazing ability to make decisions that lead to choices that greatly improve their lives.
This note shares that information, in the firm belief that you'll then go ahead and make good use of that information.

Now is the time to do the needful, even as we learn and share on matters that shape our lives.

Summary

In the first post, we learnt from David Richo what practical steps there are to help us become human, so that we can gain self respect and build healthy and compassionate relationships.

In the second post, we have sought to be open minded so as to better open our minds to scrutiny, self diagnosis and experience.

In this third and final post, we learn what sex and love addiction is, and further seek to find out if we are addicts or not. We can then use the knowledge so far gained to better define our relationships from now on.

RESOURCES

Sex and Love: Addiction, Treatment and Recovery by Eric Griffin-Shelley

40 Questions for Self Diagnosis

Porn Again Christian [free eBook Download]

Characteristics of Sex and Love Addiction

Everything Happens for a Reason - Inspired by LOST

"We were brought here for a purpose, for a reason
All of us, each one of us was brought here for a reason
...It may be hard for the others to accept
But everything happens for a reason."
- John Locke (LOST s05e07 - The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham)

Note:
All this week, posts on The Walkabout focus on life lessons that have been directly inspired by LOST. Read previous LOST-inspired posts here and here.

The Walkabout

On 2nd February 2010, the sixth season of LOST will begin airing. This compelling TV show is my personal favorite, and plays a central role in this blog.
'The Walkabout' was accordingly named after the Lost season 1 episode 4 (Walkabout) in which flashbacks of John Locke's life detailed his plans to go on an original aboriginal walkabout in Australia.

Despite being a paraplegic, Locke was determined to go on his walkabout, and insisted that he could do it, a belief he repeatedly and loudly emphasized with the words:

Don't tell me what I can't do.

Destiny

The word destiny has a dual meaning, one that is either predicated on fate or purpose.

Fate: Destiny may refer to somebody's preordained future, a series of predetermined and inevitable events that happen to somebody.

Purpose: Destiny may also refer to the inner purpose of life that can be discovered and realized.

Those who resign their lives to fate eventually find their destiny. Apparently, things just happen and eventually, they often find themselves in situations they'd rather not be in.

On the other hand, those who actively seek to live their lives by making the most of every opportunity also realize their purpose. They meet their objectives, realize their goals and certainly get to willfully shape their destiny.

Human Nature

Human nature is such that we err, and often fall short of our expectations. In fact, our "great" expectations have a way of selling us short. Usually, the unexpected does change our lives. As espoused in the premiere episode of LOST season 5, the character of people is such that...

...they come, they fight, they destroy, they corrupt
it always ends the same.

The Way Ahead

Despite all this, we do have the free will to change our destiny... for the simple reason that we think, we reason and can make choices.

Perhaps then, we can begin to see that we can challenge ourselves and discover the reason for our being. That done, we can then learn from the past, make the most of the here and now, and consequently face the future with confidence to realize our purpose.

What if we find ourselves being held back by what has happened in the past? What if the consequences of our past actions have already messed a significant part of our lives?

Well, this is a timely question, even as we look back at the resolutions and fleeting promises many of us made early this year but have not yet lived up to.

Thankfully, LOST is not devoid of answers for such questions:

...it only ends once
Anything that happens before that, is progress

Now is the time to move ahead, with the full knowledge that everything happens for a reason. Whatever has happened before is just a part of a bigger whole, of progress. We are in repair - not together, but getting there.

We can therefore go right ahead.

This February, may we exercise our free will and realize our inner purpose of life.

The Perils of Indifference

Elie Wiesel

First off, the Perils of Indifference is a speech Elie Wiesel gave on 12 April 1999, in Washington, D.C.

Elie Wiesel survived the Holocaust at Auschwitz. For this very reason, he is an undisputed authority on what humanity, or better still - the lack of it, really is. He experienced untold crimes against humanity first-hand at the hands of the Nazis. His account is every bit as moving as the writings of Viktor Frankl, Anne Frank and other Holocaust victims.

That said, his speech excerpts are in no way new to the well read. They however, are invariably relevant.

Intolerance and Flawed Reasoning

The reason I write this post is the riots that occurred in downtown Nairobi on Friday, January 15 2010, protests that have been extensively reported in the media.

The main reason for the protests was to demand the unconditional release of Jamaican Muslim cleric Sheikh Abdullah al-Faisal. Some radical Muslims organized the "peaceful protests".

The protests however turned ugly and brought business to a standstill in the Nairobi Business District. Five people lost their lives, many were injured and one policeman was shot by a protester.

The Perils of Indifference


Following are excerpts are Elie Wiesel's The Perils of Indifference speech.

We are on the threshold of a new century, a new millennium. What will the legacy of this vanishing century be? How will it be remembered in the new millennium? Surely it will be judged, and judged severely, in both moral and metaphysical terms... So much violence; so much indifference.

Of course, indifference can be tempting -- more than that, seductive... for the person who is indifferent, his or her neighbor are of no consequence. And, therefore, their lives are meaningless. Their hidden or even visible anguish is of no interest. Indifference reduces the Other to an abstraction.

Indifference, after all, is more dangerous than anger and hatred. Indifference, then, is not only a sin, it is a punishment.

In the place that I come from, society was composed of three simple categories: the killers, the victims, and the bystanders.

Read the entire speech, download PDF or Flash copies, or listen to an audio recording at the American Rhetoric web site.

Do we Ever Learn?

When I wrote Beyond Politics in January 2007, I quoted the following words by Thomas Blatt, another Holocaust survivor:

Ignorance leads to hate.
There is a need to tell the truth and document the sad facts for posterity.
Revenge or executing the murderers is not the most important thing.
All this won't bring back the victims.
What matters is to get the testimony, for the testimony is for the generations.

The Way Ahead
It was indeed very sad to see biased and irrational exchanges online regarding these riots. The KTN and NTV facebook pages were riddled with such unfortunate commentary that eventually necessitated the deletion of several posts. Online forums such as Wazua also had several posts moderated or otherwise deleted when topical discussions degenerated into personal attacks and anti-religious sentiments.

God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny. We need each other to survive.

I end this post with questions Elie Wiesel asked in his speech. Think about the following:

Does it mean that we have learned from the past? Does it mean that society has changed? Has the human being become less indifferent and more human? Have we really learned from our experiences? Are we less insensitive to the plight of victims of ethnic cleansing and other forms of injustices in places near and far?

No more Missed Opportunities in 2010. Seize the Day!

The Years Gone By

Looking back in 2009, we all learnt a lot in life. Hopefully, we became better persons and are now looking forward to a richly rewarding year.

The walk into the future will not be without challenges and hiccups. There are new things to be done, new people to meet, new days to be lived. Informed by what we experienced in the last year, we can use that as a foundation for the accomplishments we endeavor to realize, as stepping stones into new horizons.

Seize the Day

The new year presents us with opportunities to make the most of every moment.

Otherwise, we may die regretting the time we lost when we already had the chance.

Carolyn Arends

From the Prince of Peace compilation gospel album, Carolyn Arends sings Seize the Day, a deep song that encourages us to make the most of the days we've been given, even as we seek God's guidance and favor.

Following are the song lyrics:

I know a girl who was schooled in Manhattan
She reads dusty books and learns phrases in Latin
She is an author, or maybe a poet
A genius but it's just this world doesn't know it
She works on her novel most every day
If you laugh she will say

Chorus:
Seize the day, seize whatever you can
'Cause life slips away just like hourglass sand
Seize the day, pray for grace from God's hand
Then nothing will stand in your way
Seize the day

Well I know a doctor, a fine young physician
Left his six-figure job for a mission position
He's healing the sick in an African clinic
He works in the dirt and writes home to the cynics
He says "We work through the night so most every day
As we watch the sun rise we can say

Chorus

Well I know a man who's been doing some thinking
He's as bitter and cold as the whiskey he's drinking
He's talking 'bout fear, about chances not taken
If you listen to him you can hear his heart breaking
He says "One day you're a boy and the next day you're dead
I wish way back when someone had said

Chorus

Well one thing I've noticed, wherever I wander
Everyone's got a dream he can follow or squander
You can do what you will with the days you are given
I'm trying to spend mine on the business of living
So I'm singing my songs off of any old stage
You can laugh if you want, I'll still say

Chorus

The above lyrics and artist names are copyrighted to Carolyn Arends. They appear  here for educational and personal use only.

The Challenge

For those of us who subscribe to the writings in the good book:

Let the giving of thanks be your sacrifice to God, and give the Almighty all that you promised.

- Psalm 50:14 (Good News Bible)

Now is the time to make the most of every opportunity. Remember all those new year resolutions you made last week? 2010 is now here with us.

Seize the day... the clock is ticking...

Living in 2010

"I'll tell you something,
It's not hard to die when you know you have lived, and I did.
Oh, how I lived."
- Edie Britt (Desperate Housewives s05e19)

The Lessons We Must Learn

Only yesterday, I was watching season 5 of Desperate Housewives. The 100th episode (s05e13) is titled "The Best Thing That Ever Could Have Happened". Here, residents of Wysteria Lane remember how the neighborhood handyman Eli Scruggs deeply affected their lives.

Later on in episode 19, the housewives took time to remember Edie Britts, who really lived her life - a life that was one of a kind.

Steve Jobs on How to Live Before You Die

In 2005, Steve Jobs, the legendary Apple Inc. CEO gave a commencement address at Stanford University.

Following is his address:

In his talk, Steve Jobs outlined three life stories that in his opinion, characterize a life well lived:

1. Connecting the DotsYou can't connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards.So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.
   
   You have to trust in something... because believing that the dots will connect down the road, will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.


2. Love and LossSometimes life's gonna hit you on the head with a brick. Dont lose faith.You've got to find what you love, and that is as true  for work as it is for your lovers.
   
   Your work is gonna fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.
   
   If you haven't found it yet, keep looking, and don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you you find it. And like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking, don't settle.


3. Death"If you live each day as if it's your last, someday you'll most certainly be right."Remembering that you are going to die, is the best way to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked, there is no reason not to follow your heart.
   
   Death is the destination we all share. It's life's change agent, it clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now, the new is you. But someday not too long from now, you'll gradually become the old, and be cleared away.
   
   Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others opinions drown out your own inner voice.
   
   Most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

In Other News...

Today is the first day of the year 2010. Amid all the fanfare and gratitude of making it through 2009 to see yet another year, do we have it within ourselves to let 2009 be the end of something, and 2010 the beginning of everything?

Like Abba said in their 1980 hit song Happy New Year (from the album Super Trouper):

Happy New Year... May we all have a vision now and then,
Of a world where every neighbor is a friend,
May we all have our hopes, our will to try,
If we don't we might as well lay down and die... You and I.

Following is the video to this song:



We at The Walkabout and the greater Complit Communications family do wish you all the best in your life, your work, your studies and your dreams.

Cheers, and Say Hello to 2010!

Freedom Writers: Writing for Change

Last weekend, I decided to sit back and watch movies.

Freedom Writers is one of the movies I watched. I find this movie very profound, because it is an amazing story of strength, courage and achievement in the face of adversity.

The Freedom Writers Diary

Based on the non-fiction book: "The Freedom Writers Diary: How a Teacher and 150 Teens Used Writing to Change Themselves and the World Around Them", this is a story that really edifies and inspires change.

Set in Long Beach California, Erin Gruwell's (Hilary Swank) passion to become a teacher is soon challenged by a group of Black, Latino, and Asian gangbangers who hate her even more than each other.

Mrs. G. is different among the other teachers in this inner city public school because she has the crazy idea that these kids can learn at a high level and learn to develop relationships with each other. Her deep passion for these students end up costing her her marriage.

But she never gave up on her students, nor on her desire to effect positive change. She held on and stayed strong.

Following is the Freedom Writers official trailer:



Changed Lives

The students were vividly reminded through books, testimony and tours, of the Holocaust.

The real beauty of the movie is the fact that Erin's students lives have changed. Their perspective in life, their opportunities, their world has changed - because they chose to see things differently.

I very strongly recommend that you watch this movie, it might just change your life, for better.

Happy Holidays my friends!

Chasing Happiness: Why not Wait and Let Happiness Follow You?

Power Up

It's interesting how we rediscover some things.

I have previously shared some stories I used to listen to on Family FM's (now Radio 316) 'Power Up', in both my [now defunct] Facebook Notes and past blog posts on The Walkabout.



Fable

 

The other day, I was reading the Sunday Nation and in Mutahi Ngunyi's article, I saw the full text of yet another story that was once shared on Power Up. It is from a fable by C. L. James.

Following is 'Chasing Happiness' for you. Be edified:

CHASING HAPPINESS

An old dog saw a puppy chasing its tail and asked, “why are you chasing your tail?” The young puppy replied, “I have mastered philosophy; I have solved the problems of the universe which no dog before me has solved; I have learnt that the best thing for a dog is happiness, and that happiness is in my tail. Therefore, I am chasing it, and when I catch it, I shall be happy.”

The old and seasoned dog stared at the little puppy and responded, “My son, I, too, have paid attention to the problems of the universe in my weak ways and I have formed some opinions.

I have realized that happiness is a fine thing for a dog. And that happiness is in my tail. However, I have also noticed that when I chase after it, it keeps running away from me, but when I go about my business as usual, it follows me.”

 

Precious Illusions

So, are you still chasing happiness?
Chances are, it'll still elude you just as the tail eluded the puppy.
Now is the time to get on with life, doing what is required of us, and purposing to add value both in our lives and those of others.

Only then will happiness follow us. It surely will.

There's Fire on the Mountain, and Nobody seems to be On the Run

"Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers."
- Eminem (Like Toy Soldiers)

[caption id="attachment_471" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Fire on the Mountain: A Time of Crisis"][/caption]

A Time of Crisis

Reading news articles yesterday, I realized just how many things need our urgent attention.

World leaders are currently meeting in Denmark for the Copenhagen Climate Summit and bombings in Baghdad left at least 127 people dead. Even the rich and famous are not having such a good time, given that Tiger Woods is still not out of the woods yet.

Locally, I was appalled by the news that somewhere in Narok, in the Rift Valley, a man was found with enough military arsenal to power a police station for over a year. And just when House Speaker Kenneth Marende was praising China for hanging criminals and therefore ending impunity, it was being reported that Kenya is a major producer and exporter of pornography, especially to China. The Daily Nation has published an article detailing how young children are hooked to pornography. In an editorial, everyone is being urged to help save our children from greedy porn peddlers.

So what can we do?

Faced with the above and innumerable other crises, we need to rise up and upon realizing that many things have gone pretty wrong, get down to sorting the mess out.

In his Inauguration address, US President Barack Obama spoke words I can never forget, words that are both challenging and inspirational. He said:

...when nothing but hope and virtue could survive, that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet it.

...in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words; with hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come; let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter...

Fire on the Mountain

Many musicians have tried to highlight the social ills that bedevil our society, and the following song by Asa is so profound, that upon keenly listening to the words, you might wonder where you've been as many bad things happened all around you.

Be edified:

FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN
By Asa

CHORUS
There is fire on the mountain
And nobody seems to be on the run
Oh there is fire on the mountain top
And no one is a-running

VERSE 1
I wake up in the morning
Tell you what I see on my TV screen
I see the blood of an innocent child
And everybody's watching

Now am looking out my window
And what do I see
I see an army of a soldier man
marching across the street

Hey Mr soldier man
Tomorrow is the day you go to war
But you are fighting for another man's cause
And you don't even know him

What did he say to make you so blind
To your conscience and reason
Could it be love for your country
Or for the gun you use in killing

REPEAT CHORUS

Hey Mr Lover man
Can I get a chance to talk to you
Cause you are fooling with a dead man's corpse
And you don't know what you do

So you say you have a lover
And you love her like no other
So you buy her a diamond
That someone has died on
Don't you think there's something wrong with this

Tell me who's responsible
For what we teach our children
Is it the internet
Or the stars on television
Why oh why
Why oh why oh

So little Lucy turns sixteen
And like the movie she's been seeing
She has a lover in her daddy
She can't tell nobody
Till she makes the evening news

REPEAT CHORUS

On day the river will over flow
And there'll be no where for us to go
And we will run, run
Wishing we had put out the fire

REPEAT CHORUS (till fade)

The above lyrics and artist names are copyrighted to Asa. They appear  here for educational and personal use only.

So, are you still not bothered?

Ponder the above lyrics to Fire on the Mountain, and honestly ask yourself if you are among the many who remain unconcerned, those who choose not to be bothered by whatever ills are happening all around us.

If we each do a little more, we all do a lot more. The time is now to do the needful.

The Laws of Simplicity

Less is More

Simplicity is a vital aspect of life that is often overlooked. Many believe that complex means more, and therefore better. The truth is quite to the contrary.

In design, simplicity is a key component of a rich user experience and robust function. This has been further explored at Complit Design. Less is more in design, and therefore better.

A Simple Life. A Life most Uncommon

The complexities of daily living make it hard for us to imagine living a simple life. There's simply so much to consider, so much to attend to and so much that is expected of us.

With all this in mind, we seldom have time to even notice and appreciate the simple things in life that matter the most.

The Laws of Simplicity

[caption id="attachment_461" align="aligncenter" width="201" caption="The Laws of Simplicity by John Maeda"][/caption]



John Maeda is a renowned graphic designer, artist and computer scientist at the MIT Media Lab.

He also co-directs the radical SIMPLICITY initiative which seeks to re-examine ways of breaking free from the complexity of today's technology and redefine the way users relate to the technology in their daily lives.

He wrote The Laws of Simplicity in 2005/6. The book details the following 10 Laws:

1. REDUCE
   The simplest way to achieve simplicity is through thoughtful reduction.


2. ORGANIZE
   Organization makes a system of many appear fewer.


3. TIME
   Savings in time feel like simplicity.


4. LEARN
   Knowledge makes everything simpler.


5. DIFFERENCES
   Simplicity and complexity need each other.


6. CONTEXT
   What lies in the periphery of simplicity is definitely not peripheral.


7. EMOTION
   More emotions are better than less.


8. TRUST
   In simplicity we trust.


9. FAILURE
   Some things can never be made simple.


10. THE ONE
    Simplicity is about subtracting the obvious, and adding the meaningful.

You can read about the 10 laws at the Laws of Simplicity web site.

Read The Book

Having looked at the excerpt and watched John Maeda's TED Talk about the simple life, The Laws of Simplicity is a book worth reading.

http://video.ted.com/assets/player/swf/EmbedPlayer.swf

It is bound to remind you some simple truths that can positively affect both your personal and professional life.

Blind with your Eyes Wide Open? Then it's time for a Revival.

Dire Straits

Every now and then, we get to a point in life where a complete turnaround is all that can work.

Such a dire situation is often characterized by suffering, loss of faith, hopelessness and enduring guilt.

Grey's Anatomy

The following song by The Soulsavers was featured in an episode of Grey's Anatomy, where Dr Miranda Bailley had to operate on a racist patient who insisted on being attended to by a white doctor.



Revival

Following are the song lyrics. Be edified:

Said gonna be a revival tonight ooh
I wanna see a revival yeah
Gonna be a revival tonight
Lord, let there be a revival yeah

Forgive what I have done
It means my soul's survival, oohh
I need you so,it's sin
Put an end to my suffering oh

Why am I so blind with my eyes wide open? ooh
Trying to get my hands clean in dirty water

I wanna see a revival tonight
Lord, let there be a revival yeah
I need to see a revival tonight oh
Wanna see a revival oohh

Why am I so blind with my eyes wide open? yeah
Now I need someone
Let this dark night be done oh

I need you so,it's sin
Put an end to my suffering
I wanna see a revival tonight
Lord, there needs to be a revival

The above lyrics and artist names are copyrighted to Soulsavers. They appear  here for educational and personal use only.

No need trying to clean your hands in dirty water. It's time for a revival.

Beyond Knowledge and Comfort Zones. Going the Extra Mile

[caption id="attachment_449" align="aligncenter" width="337" caption="Comfort Zones diminish our Potential"][/caption]

Real Heroes Go The Extra Mile

Over a decade ago when I was in Form Two, Ezra (my desk-mate) wrote a small list of attributes that make one a Real Hero. One of these things was that a real hero goes the extra mile.

This weekend, I met this lady who at one time, was the housekeeper in a Hall I resided in during my internal attachment at JKUAT. Looking back, we both remembered how she had then gone out of her way and assisted some of my classmates. She did go the extra mile at that time of crisis. We continually acknowledge her kindness, and are invariably indebted.

That extra effort to do something that is not a core part of our duty, something we cannot be compensated for, is what makes some people do extra-ordinary things.

And as we all know, the difference between extraordinary and ordinary is that 'little' extra.

Knowledge and Enlightenment

To know is to be aware. To be aware is good. But we all know that good is the enemy of great.

As mentioned in my earlier (comeback) post, I was inspired by Eric Ng'eno's Facebook Note about Knowledge, Strength, Love and Happiness. Following is an excerpt:

I love knowledge for its irony. It does not enlighten absolutely. It does not define the speed of darkness after mastering light. Knowledge just shifts the grounds and objects of belief. I never stop believing and I never stop doubting, but knowledge enables me to do both well, and to discern more wisely.

Ultimately, knowledge reveals the completeness of of both good and evil, of light and dark, of excellence and mediocrity, and the self fulfilling globe and cycle of the universe. And it leaves me lots of space to fill in with textures, hues, lines, scents and flavors of my election, which gives me identity and personality.

If therefore knowledge fails to reveal the absoluteness of virtues and vices, of values and ideals, if it shows, against my preference, that both good and evil are the reverse and obverse of my desires, interests and ambitions, yet it does not fail to affirm me as a man, a soul, a spirit; divine, magnificent and glorious.

That said, we still realize that good just ain't enough. Knowledge is not an end in itself.

Challenge Convention. Exit the Comfort Zone

Failure to act still remains the biggest threat to our progress. This comes about due to laxity or fearing to fail. For this reason, few ever venture into the unknown. The majority still laze around in their comfort zones.

To make a different in our personal or professional lives, we need to leave our comfort zones. We need to sometimes dare to be different and challenge convention.

Going the extra mile, acting on knowledge gained... these are the hallmarks of risk-taking. Needless to say, the future belongs to the risk-takers.