The Sound of Silence

"It is in deep solitude that I find the gentleness with which I can truly love my brothers [and sisters].

The more solitary I am the more affection I have for them….

Solitude and silence teach me to love my brothers [and sisters] for what they are, not for what they say."

- Thomas Merton.

Every once in a while, those close to and in touch with me experience something that greatly baffles them.

I simply disappear for days or weeks. No calls, sms, chats... etc.
I then suddenly materialize, seemingly from ether.

In this post, I'll try to explain why this is, and even more important, why I have come to embrace and now have absolutely no problem with this most uncommon of happenings.
I do realize it is necessary. At least to me, as weird as you may find it.


Solitude

That I still live alone is not an accident. It is deliberate.
You see, I learnt from an earlier time to make the most of time alone. And no, I have never been incarcerated.Some of my other reasons are beyond the scope of this post. But here is a hint.

Back in High School, I revelled in solitude. I would often go to the classrooms during weekends, not to read the prescribed stuff (Math, English, Chemistry etc) but novels and other random reads such as this book I chanced upon in the school library. It is still a top favorite.

Reading thus became the one thing I totally loved to do, and still is.

The same thing continued in college, where I became even more averse to crowds. The JKUAT library, plus my room were hideouts I spent hours reading Psychology books, history books and other random titles.

In my Senior years, the Microsoft Encarta was an amazing companion on my desktop.

Being alone often means loneliness to many people. The two are not to be mistaken. According to May Sarton:

Loneliness is the poverty of self,
Solitude is the richness of self.

To me, solitude is that time you can be with truly authentic company - yourself.


Silence

It is only in silence that you get to hear things really well. As a writer, there are times when it becomes necessary to switch off the radio and work in silence. All I get to hear is the natural sounds of birds chirping outside.

Writing is a very personal affair, and given that it demands a lot of reading, time spent alone and in silence creates a most conducive environment for the two engagements.

Silence is also necessary when one wants to reflect and simply listen to what can only be heard sans external distractions.


Wherefore art thou, Pete?

Back to the crux of this post... why do I disappear every once in a while?

The honest answer is that it just happens. I get to this point where I need to be with myself again. So I switch off the phone, disconnect from social networks and retreat to my den to enjoy my own company.

At times, it is a consequence of, and coincidental to those days when I want to have a moment to myself, to have a conversation with me a la Macy Gray.
It is at such times that I do a searching and fearless moral inventory of my life. During this time when reflection is paramount, when rejuvenation is essential, external influences are most undesirable and therefore kept at bay.

The only drawback to all this is that some people, those who really care and relish engaging me, find it insensitive on my part to simply disappear and then suddenly come back... all without explanation.

I have no idea when I will next be drawn to silence and solitude. I can only hope that it doesn't end up consuming me, as a moth is by a flaming light.
Currently, I am happy that these episodes make me a better person. The hardest thing upon my return is explaining to loved ones that my disappearance had nothing to do with them, that it is for the greater good.

It is my hope that this post somewhat explains this uncommon phenomenon.



* * *

It becomes necessary at times to get away from the noise and haste, and actually take time to live. To live a life without all the pressure and distractions that modern society imposes on us.

Taking time to listen to one's heart presents a moment of clarity and an opportunity to reflect and rejuvenate. The sound of silence is the one thing you can never miss!

The Essence of Solitude

The conditions of a solitary bird are five:

The first, that it flies to the highest point;

the second, that it does not suffer for company, not even of its own kind;

the third, that it aims its beak to the skies;

the fourth, that it does not have a definite color;

the fifth, that it sings very softly.

- San Juan de la Cruz, Dichos de Luz y Amor (from Carlos Castaneda's Tales of Power)

Solitary Pete?

For a long time, many of my friends have taken issue with my insistence on being alone most of the time.

In my world, the best moments are those that I spend time alone, usually while taking a walk. That is when ideas come flooding into my ready mind, a time when I actually notice whatever it is I see, when I get to listen to whatever I hear.

Solitude vs Loneliness

While it is true that "People get depressed when they are alone too long" [page 11 of this document], I have taken care of this problem through virtual means - by listening to music, talk radio shows, having a network of people I chat with every day and most important, lovingly rearing four pets [two puppies and two kittens].

Back in 2008, Brian Tracy wrote 'The Magic of Solitude.' He opines that in silence and solitude, many have learned how to "still their minds, tap into their super-conscious power... a wonderful technique that improves the quality of one's inner and outer life."

Helter Skelter

Interestingly, many of us have never taken time to be all alone by ourselves. For such persons, every moment is inundated with friends, work and a myriad of other things seeking their immediate attention.

Life gradually becomes one long unending busy moment. This monotonous engagement often leaves one worn out, with no time to relax or rejuvenate. Sleep hours will in most cases be truncated to create time for even more activities.

So how do you actually get to relax?

In his article, Brian Tracy recommends that you do the following:

"sit quietly, perfectly still, back and head erect, eyes open, without cigarettes, candy, writing materials, music or any interruptions whatsoever for at least 30 minutes. An hour is better.

Become completely relaxed, and breathe deeply. Just let your mind flow. Don't deliberately try to think about anything. The harder you "don't try," the more powerfully it works. After 20 or 25 minutes, you'll begin to feel deeply relaxed. You'll begin to experience a flow of energy coming into your mind and body."

Idea Lab

In my experience, ideas flow really well and uninterrupted when we take time to relax and do away with all the clutter. As earlier mentioned, even the best ideas will need a ready mind for them to be implemented to full realization.

In view of the foregoing, take time to relax, to be in step with your inner self, and to harness the amazing power of solitude.

Take time to inspire yourself.