Ruminations: Knowing You Have Lived

This afternoon, I attended the burial of a man who taught me in various upper primary school classes back in the 90s. He passed on late last week ( Saturday, August 10, 2013).
In my adulthood, I met and spoke with him only once, but my interactions with him have had an enduring impact in my life.
Today's post on The Walkabout is in Mr. Geoffrey Ndungu's memory.

"I'll tell you something,

It's not hard to die when you know you have lived, and I did.

Oh, how I lived."

- Edie Britt (Desperate Housewives s05e19)

The above words from Desperate Housewives opened this post about Living in 2010.

Eli Scruggs

First off, Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy and LOST remain my top favorite TV Shows, thanks to the thought-provoking life issues they are predicated on and consequently address.

The reason I mention Eli is that life is inundated with people in our lives who in retrospect, shape our opinions and change our perceptions. This they often do unwittingly, while going about their business and carrying out their duties.

Eli is a man who the Desperate Housewives audience meets only once, but we learn how deeply he affected the lives of Wysteria Lane residents.

Looking Back

When I was in Primary School, many of us thought that Mr Ndungu was fussy and unnecessarily strict. In adulthood however, one realizes that this was necessary to instill discipline and a culture of hard work in our young lives.

Through him, I learnt that hard work actually pays. At one point, it literally paid since he gave me a cash reward for getting an A in Maths (KCPE), the subject he taught us. I recall his good knowledge of the Bible, especially the book of Proverbs because every now and then, he would quote from it to emphasize many of his points.

He passionately hated those who steal or otherwise reap what others have sown. He repeatedly extolled the value of hard work, and has continually exuded it in his life.
The biggest lesson I have learnt from his life is that one has to be principled, and actually take personal responsibility. Most importantly, having the confidence to follow my heart, even when it leads me off the well worn path. I'm therefore able to effortlessly look well to each and every day.

The only time I met him while not his student is one evening after sunset at a fuelling station in Zambezi. The PSV I was in has developed mechanical problems and we were effectively stranded. As he fueled his car, Mr Ndungu recognized me and beckoned. Following pleasantries, he offered me a lift and on the way home, we discussed many things.

It was during the sunset years of the KANU government and his advise was that gone are the times when the government was dependable. It was now necessary, he said, for every person to actually get things done if any goals are to be achieved. He reminded me that as a young, educated and highly intelligent person, I have all the advantages that accorded me a head-start towards success.

On success however, he told me money was not everything, and many who have engaged in a mindless rush towards riches have only ended up frustrated, since greed for material things makes people miss out on the more important stuff in life.

He also told me that I need to always focus and not compare myself with others, since every person's life journey is as unique as that person. I remember the last thing he said as I reached my destination was that I should focus and not waste my life living another person's life. He finally wished me well in my studies, as I was then in campus.
Thanks to him and other men of his ilk, I have never let the noise of other people's opinions drown my inner voice.

Death


In his commencement address at Stanford University, Steve Jobs spoke of death as a common destination for us all. It is life's change agent, re reckoned.

Watch the above video and take notice of the three life stories that in Steve's opinion, characterize a life well lived viz:

• Connecting the Dots
• Love and Loss
• Death

R.I.P. Mr Geoffrey Ndungu Kanini.
I've no doubt that yours was a life well lived.

To Remember, and to Let Go

Note: A similar post was published on The Walkabout back in April 2011.

The Afterlife
I've just watched, for the umpteenth time, the Jack and Christian Shephard afterlife church scene in the LOST finale.

Looking inside his father's empty coffin, Jack is surprised when his father, standing nearby, speaks to him.

Well knowing that Christian already died, Jack asks his father how he is there. Christian also asks Jack how he is there as well, and it dawns on Jack that he died too.

When Jack eventually asks where they are, his father tells him that they are in a place that all the losties made together so that they would find one another.

I find what Christian says next to be both a profound and defining revelation in the entire LOST TV series.

The most important part of your life, was the time that you spent with these people. That's why all of you are here. Nobody does it alone Jack. You needed all of them, and they needed you.

To remember, and to let go.

Watch the video below:



Every so often, we find ourselves in a situation where we have to look back at people and things that made us who we are today.
Whether the past is marked by fond memories or bitter ones, moments to cherish, enduring scars, lingering doubts, uncalled for pain or traumatic recollections... whatever it be, there are always lessons to learn and move on.

The biggest attendant risk in such a defining moment is to try clean your hands in dirty water.

I recently had one of these situations where I simply remembered everything about a certain person. Yeah, it was not easy dealings with the ever present feelings of loss when one lets go.

I however was finally able, thanks to a great deal of effort, to cut loose. I closed the door, changed the record, cleaned the house and got rid of the dust. I let go and moved on.
Additionally, I've had to let go of a project I have been excited about since 2010. I realized that in going on with it, I would do more harm than good to my schedule. I may eventually work on it when the timing is right and all attendant factors are favorable. 

It was only then that I stopped being who I was and became who I am.