Well, Pete honored me by asking me to guest post on here. No idea what wisdom is expected, but I’ll do my best to be me.
A couple of days ago, I did this post on giving and uplifting others in all I do, and a couple of comments prompted this post.
See, we have the tendency to use English translations in relationships, and from my observation, they don’t always hold true. For example:
Giving / Receiving - According to the dictionary definition, these two are opposites right? Well, in relationships, they’re not. People have the tendency to believe that one has to be a giver or a receiver; you cannot be a perennial giver, and a receiver. If one is building themselves into being a giver, it’s taken to mean that that person will not receive. That’s not true.
The opposite of giving is not giving. The opposite of receiving is not receiving.
My saying I want to be ever generous means, I want to move from the position of not giving (all the time), to giving (all the time). Receiving comes in another context. Basically, giving and receiving IMO are not mutually exclusive.
Making Others Shine – Again, the opposite of this isn’t dimming my light. It just means that external approval will cease to be so important to me, and instead, I’ll channel that light onto someone who need it more to build their confidence.
Case in point. You have an important project to deliver, but instead of working on it and taking all the glory (which will mean less time, and more efficiency for the company), you help your junior do the work, and let him take the glory.
IMO, in that case, I haven’t dimmed my light one bit. See, I know I can do it and do it well, but the person beside me needs to learn. He needs to build his confidence in whatever task. He’s still growing.
Letting those beside you take the glory is a sign of growth and security in who you are, and as such, outside affirmation doesn’t mean that much (nose in the air self righteousness)
Character vs Personality – I was watching this episode of Desperate Housewives that they talk about why you should probably love the rude neighbor who will speak their mind, and not trust so much, the polite neighbor, who has nothing but kind words for you, and nothing else (this was in reference to Susan, the rude neighbor and Orson, the ever so polite guy, who was stealing from everyone).
I get this feeling that society is emphasizing so much on people developing perfect personalities, without advocating for fundamental character issues.
We’re taught to say the right thing, the right words and everything to keep the peace.
As long as you’re 'correct' you’re accepted. Something is fundamentally wrong with that. Let us work on character development and sincerity, and at the end of the day, we’ll be a better people.
