Time to Think Again

Slightly over two years ago, I wrote this post on The Walkabout, about a most profound book. Aptly titled  Critical Thinking: Tools For Taking Charge Of Your Professional And Personal Life, the book is all about our thoughts, especially how they affect our development and ultimately, the quality of our lives. It then behooves us to channel and leverage our thinking such that we are in charge of our lives.

At the time, I even gave a few copies free to some of our readers.

This book is one of those you keep getting back to read, if only to refresh whatever you have so far gained from it. In this regard, it is worth noting that there is something new to gain every time I take another look at it's priceless insights.

You are What You Think
That's what the good people at CriticalThinking.org say in introducing this book.

Everything you do in life is determined by the quality of your thinking. If you aren't thinking clearly, you're at the mercy of everyone else-from dishonest politicians to aggressive, stop-at-nothing ad agencies. Unfortunately, many people never give any thought to how they think. No wonder they're susceptible to the frustration, pain, ineffectiveness, and financial loss that result directly from poorly considered thinking. Critical Thinking is about becoming a better thinker in every aspect of your life-as a professional, as a consumer, citizen, friend, parent, and even as a lover.

Following is a snapshot of what you'll find inside this awesome book:

Acknowledgment Preface
Ch. 1:    Thinking in a World of Accelerating Change and Intensifying Danger
Ch. 2:    Becoming a Critic of Your Thinking
Ch. 3:    Becoming a Fair-Minded Thinker
Ch. 4:    Self-Understanding
Ch. 5:    The First Four Stages of Development: What Level Thinker are You?
Ch. 6:    The Parts of Thinking
Ch. 7:    The Standards for Thinking
Ch. 8:    Design Your Life
Ch. 9:    The Art of Making Intelligent Decisions
Ch. 10: Taking Charge of Your Irrational Tendencies
Ch. 11:  Monitoring Your Sociocentric Tendencies
Ch. 12:  Developing as an Ethical Reasoner
Ch. 13:  Analyzing and Evaluating Thinking in Corporate and Organizational Life
Ch. 14:  The Power and Limits of Professional Knowledge (And of the Disciplines that Underlie Them)
Ch. 15:  Strategic Thinking Part One
Ch. 16:  Strategic Thinking Part Two
Glossary: A Guide to Critical Thinking Terms and Concepts References

The Challenge
What kind of a thinker are you?
In writing Critical Thinking: Tools for Taking Charge of Your Professional and Personal Life, Richard W. Paul and Linda Elder detail the six stages of thinking. These are:

• Stage 1 The Unreflective Thinker (we are unaware of significant problems in our thinking)
• Stage 2 The Challenged Thinker (we become aware of problems in our thinking)
• Stage 3 The Beginning Thinker (we try to improve, but without regular practice)
• Stage 4 The Practicing Thinker (we recognize the necessity of regular practice)
• Stage 5 The Advanced Thinker (we advance in accordance with our practice)
• Stage 6 The Master Thinker (skilled and insightful thinking becomes second nature)

I very strongly recommend that you get a copy of this book. "Why?" you ask. My answer: You are what you think. It is the quality of your thinking that determines all else.

Gratitude, Generosity and Altruism

Last week, I took time to take a fearless and searching inventory of my life. This was largely necessitated by my birthday [I was born on July 05].

More than my birthday, July usually marks the beginning of a fiscal year. I wanted to align the end of several things with the end of June, and the commencement of several others with the beginning of July.
That said, I realized that the easiest way to do all this was to focus on the past, the present and the future.

The Past

"Let the giving of thanks be your sacrifice to God, and give to the Almighty all that you promised."

- Psalm 50:14

Looking back, I realize that mine is indeed a blessed life. Whereas I deliberately avoid comparing myself with others, I never lose sight of the fact that I am immensely blessed.
Whenever I feel like I am inadequate in some small way, I am quickly reminded that I do have that which I currently possess for a reason.

God has abundantly supplied all my needs, therefore I do not want. He has provided all that I need. As I go about life, I realize that the more content I am, the more I have peace of mind to attain my mandate and better appropriate my place in this world.


The Present

I firmly believe that we live so that we can positively affect others. These others may refer to other people, our environment, our work place, animals under our care and much more. Many have postulated that the "here" and "now" is called the present because it is indeed a gift.

Gifts are things we get, but do not necessarily deserve. In view of this, the least we can do to pay homage to our creator for the present is to simply see it as an opportunity to add value. In my life, I have come to realize that by being generous in life, you lose nothing. In fact, being generous opens the way to blessings.


The Future

With growth comes change. Having appreciated my past, and living the present in the best way I know how, I actively seek a way of living that'll ensure I'm happy, satisfied and more than this, fulfilled in life. Looking through my Bible, I came across Romans 12. In my mind, this chapter basically lays down the way to altruistic living. Following is the entire text in Romans 12.

Rom 12:1  I therefore urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercies, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices that are holy and pleasing to God, for this is the reasonable way for you to worship.
Rom 12:2  Do not be conformed to this world, but continually be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you may be able to determine what God's will is-what is proper, pleasing, and perfect.
Rom 12:3  For by the grace given to me I ask every one of you not to think of yourself more highly than you should think, rather to think of yourself with sober judgment on the measure of faith that God has assigned each of you.
Rom 12:4  For we have many parts in one body, but these parts do not all have the same function.

Rom 12:5  In the same way, even though we are many people, we are one body in Christ and individual parts connected to each other.
Rom 12:6  We have different gifts based on the grace that was given to us. So if your gift is prophecy, use your gift in proportion to your faith.
Rom 12:7  If your gift is serving, devote yourself to serving others. If it is teaching, devote yourself to teaching others.
Rom 12:8  If it is encouraging, devote yourself to encouraging others. If it is sharing, share generously. If it is leading, lead enthusiastically. If it is helping, help cheerfully.
Rom 12:9  Your love must be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good.
Rom 12:10  Be devoted to each other with mutual affection. Excel in showing respect for each other.
Rom 12:11  Never be lazy in showing such devotion. Be on fire with the Spirit. Serve the Lord.
Rom 12:12  Be joyful in hope, patient in trouble, and persistent in prayer.
Rom 12:13  Supply the needs of the saints. Extend hospitality to strangers.
Rom 12:14  Bless those who persecute you. Keep on blessing them, and never curse them.
Rom 12:15  Rejoice with those who are rejoicing. Cry with those who are crying.
Rom 12:16  Live in harmony with each other. Do not be arrogant, but associate with humble people. Do not think that you are wiser than you really are.
Rom 12:17  Do not pay anyone back evil for evil, but focus your thoughts on what is right in the sight of all people.
Rom 12:18  If possible, so far as it depends on you, live in peace with all people.
Rom 12:19  Do not take revenge, dear fiends, but leave room for God's wrath. For it is written, "Vengeance belongs to me. I will pay them back, declares the Lord."
Rom 12:20  But "if your enemy is hungry, feed him. For if he is thirsty, give him a drink. If you do this, you will pile burning coals on his head."
Rom 12:21  Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.

A Life well Lived

In view of the foregoing, it is my hope that I'll live a worthwhile life. I do believe that my best days are ahead of me, so this shouldn't be a problem if I do the needful.

* * *

Good to Great by Jim Collins

Learn and Share

Late last year, a very inspiring tweep and fellow blogger handed me a copy of Jim Collin's bestseller Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap... and others Don't.

Owing to commitments and other hitherto scheduled reads, I gave the book to my dad, who has really liked reading it.

I have however started reading the book, and just flipping through the pages, I realize it has wonderful insights that apply both in business and in life.

Good to Great

What Others Say

This post isn't exactly a review of the book. You can read editorial reviews at Amazon.

A quick glance at the first chapter [titled Good is the Enemy of Great]:

Good is the enemy of Great.

And that is one of the key reasons why we have so little that becomes great.

We don't have great schools, principally because we have good schools. We don't have great government, principally because we have good government. Few people attain great lives, in large part because it is just so easy to settle for a good life.

The vast majority of companies never become great, precisely because the vast majority become quite good - and that is their main problem.

Worth Reading?

Yes. This is a book that will remind you that just being good isn't enough, and show you the way to being great.

You then get to do the needful to become great!

Are We merely there WITH, or FOR One Another?

"Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself."

- Henry Miller (1891 - 1980)

Six Degrees

The Six Degrees of Separation or "Human Web" concept has been explored in various literally works and the creative arts for many years all over the world.

Essentially, it asserts that all human beings are largely interconnected.

Since the 1990 play and the 1993 film of the same name, the Six Degrees of Separation concept has been prominently deployed in the immensely popular TV Show LOST. It has also inspired films such as Crash and Babel.

Babel

This is a movie that stars an ensemble cast. It focuses on four interrelated sets of situations and characters - in Morocco, Japan, United States and Mexico.

Basically, a high-powered rifle originally owned by a Japanese hunter is used by two boys in Morocco to critically injure an American tourist [Susan].

At home in the USA, the Mexican nanny in charge of Richard and Susan's twin children is involved in border trespass after attending her son's wedding in Tijuana, Mexico.

Noteworthy themes

Throughout the movie, misunderstandings abound:

> The immediate classification of the American tourist's shooting as a terrorist act, Amelia's [Mexican nanny]treatment by the border police and the treatment of local Arabs by the American tourists. All this has obvious racial undertones.

> Suspicion and misplaced priorities - the tourists in the bus are quick to leave to avoid the desert heat as well as forestall "further attacks" by the locals.

> Political issues between governments significantly hinder quick help for Susan.

Despite the above, and what I found most inspiring, is the willingness of strangers [the local veterinarian and the bus tour guide] to be of help. In fact, the tour guide declined financial compensation from Richard [Susan's husband] as Susan was being carried away in a helicopter.

Somebody for Someone

In their song Somebody for Someone, The Corrs capture the very essence of being there for other people:

"Look at me, see me' 'look at me, save me'

'Free me, find me 'cos if there's

Somebody for someone, yeah look at me"

Somebody for someone

Bridges

A while back, I blogged on the Walkabout about the need to communicate, create human bridges and be united in purpose.

The human bridge is nurtured by introduction, familiarity and co-operation. With a common purpose, everything becomes possible.

We therefore need to be there for one another, even without the presence of a crisis. We have to go beyond merely being there with one another.

The Sex and Love Addiction Quagmire

NOTE:
This is the final post in my 3-part Valentines Day series. Read the First part and the Second part here.

I used to laugh whenever I read or heard that a certain celebutard had checked himself into a Sex Rehab facility. Tiger Woods, Eric Benét, Charlie Sheen... and the list goes on.

As I grew up and read more, I became more enlightened and open-minded. While in campus, a random book quickly turned into a gem that has so far liberated me emotionally, and helped me take charge of my love life. A love life which I must say, is quite simple but most uncommon.

That said, I bet I can now safely assume that you the reader, are now more open minded in regard to this very unconventional and searching perspective on our sex and love lives.



What is Love and Sex Addiction?

In his book Sex & Love: Addiction, Treatment and Recovery, Eric Griffin-Shelley notes that many of us are very hesitant to label someone an addict, owing to the stereotypes we have of addicts. We instead prefer to refer to these defects of character as "bad habits", something we find more palatable and socially acceptable.

The word addict has a Latin root, ad dictum, which means "to the dictator." When people were captured and sent into slavery, they were sent ad dictum. The idea of addiction as enslavement is something to which most addicts would readily agree. When you are addicted, you feel that you have no choice and are powerless to stop. Addicts are out of balance and out of control.

An addiction is an enslavement to an activity, person, or thing that is characterized by imbalance, lack of control, loss of power, distortion of values, inflexible centralness to the person's life, unhealthiness, pathology, chronicity, progression, and potential fatality. More simply put, an addict is a person who cannot say "no."

A sex and love addict cannot say "no" to his or her impulses to have sex or get into a love relationship. An addict is a person whose thoughts and behaviors are causing problems but who cannot stop them. In addition to these definitions, a sex and love addiction involves a high, tolerance, craving, dependence, withdrawal, obsession, compulsion, secrecy, and a personality change.

A Fearless Moral Inventory

"The unexamined life is not worth living."
- Socrates

Many of us have for a long time mistaken their sex and love addictions as a normal human need to love and be loved, to have company and to be in a meaningful relationship.

The biggest hindrance to tackling the sex and love addictions that many people are in, is the fact that sex and love matters are rarely discussed. Far too many people prefer to handle their own matters of the heart, which unfortunately is to their peril.

The 4th Step in most addicts anonymous recovery programs is a searching and fearless moral inventory of one's life. This then becomes a habitual thing, as espoused in step 10 where one continues to take personal inventory, and promptly admits when they find out they are wrong.

Following are the 12 Characteristics of Sex and Love addicts:

1 Having few healthy boundaries, we become sexually involved with and/or emotionally attached to people without knowing them.
2 Fearing abandonment and loneliness, we stay in and return to painful, destructive relationships, concealing our dependency needs from ourselves and others, growing more isolated and alienated from friends and loved ones, ourselves, and God.
3 Fearing emotional and/or sexual deprivation, we compulsively pursue and involve ourselves in one relationship after another, sometimes having more than one sexual or emotional liaison at a time.
4 We confuse love with neediness, physical and sexual attraction, pity and/or the need to rescue or be rescued.
5 We feel empty and incomplete when we are alone. Even though we fear intimacy and commitment, we continually search for relationships and sexual contacts.
6 We sexualize stress, guilt, loneliness, anger, shame, fear and envy. We use sex or emotional dependence as substitutes for nurturing, care, and support.
7 We use sex and emotional involvement to manipulate and control others.
8 We become immobilized or seriously distracted by romantic or sexual obsessions or fantasies.
9 We avoid responsibility for ourselves by attaching ourselves to people who are emotionally unavailable.
10 We stay enslaved to emotional dependency, romantic intrigue, or compulsive sexual activities.
11 To avoid feeling vulnerable, we may retreat from all intimate involvement, mistaking sexual and emotional anorexia for recovery.
12 We assign magical qualities to others. We idealize and pursue them, then blame them for not fulfilling our fantasies and expectations.

If you still have lingering doubts whether or not you are an addict, you may want to ask yourself the more searching 40 Questions for Self Diagnosis.
Don't be surprised when you realize most of your answers are YES.

A Willingness to Change

"Now willing to listen and take suggestions, I have found that the process of discovering who I really am begins with knowing who I really don't want to be.
I have grown emotionally and intellectually. It has give me my sanity and an all-around sense of balance."
- Safe Haven (Personal Stories in the A.A. Big Book)

If you have gotten this far in this note, you may be wondering why all the details.
The reason is simple: It's not fitting to try to address a problem that is not well defined. As of now, you have found out exactly where you lie [no pun intended] in this sex and love addiction business.

Given what we now know, many would only want to change for better.
Additionally, you'll walk into Valentines well-knowing exactly what your affection for the other part(y)ies is. Is it genuine, healthy love, or a destructive sex and love addiction?

The good news is that you are not alone. Many others are seeking the same answers in their efforts to find meaning in their lives.

It is my believe that once enlightened, many people display an amazing ability to make decisions that lead to choices that greatly improve their lives.
This note shares that information, in the firm belief that you'll then go ahead and make good use of that information.

Now is the time to do the needful, even as we learn and share on matters that shape our lives.

Summary

In the first post, we learnt from David Richo what practical steps there are to help us become human, so that we can gain self respect and build healthy and compassionate relationships.

In the second post, we have sought to be open minded so as to better open our minds to scrutiny, self diagnosis and experience.

In this third and final post, we learn what sex and love addiction is, and further seek to find out if we are addicts or not. We can then use the knowledge so far gained to better define our relationships from now on.

RESOURCES

Sex and Love: Addiction, Treatment and Recovery by Eric Griffin-Shelley

40 Questions for Self Diagnosis

Porn Again Christian [free eBook Download]

Characteristics of Sex and Love Addiction

No more Missed Opportunities in 2010. Seize the Day!

The Years Gone By

Looking back in 2009, we all learnt a lot in life. Hopefully, we became better persons and are now looking forward to a richly rewarding year.

The walk into the future will not be without challenges and hiccups. There are new things to be done, new people to meet, new days to be lived. Informed by what we experienced in the last year, we can use that as a foundation for the accomplishments we endeavor to realize, as stepping stones into new horizons.

Seize the Day

The new year presents us with opportunities to make the most of every moment.

Otherwise, we may die regretting the time we lost when we already had the chance.

Carolyn Arends

From the Prince of Peace compilation gospel album, Carolyn Arends sings Seize the Day, a deep song that encourages us to make the most of the days we've been given, even as we seek God's guidance and favor.

Following are the song lyrics:

I know a girl who was schooled in Manhattan
She reads dusty books and learns phrases in Latin
She is an author, or maybe a poet
A genius but it's just this world doesn't know it
She works on her novel most every day
If you laugh she will say

Chorus:
Seize the day, seize whatever you can
'Cause life slips away just like hourglass sand
Seize the day, pray for grace from God's hand
Then nothing will stand in your way
Seize the day

Well I know a doctor, a fine young physician
Left his six-figure job for a mission position
He's healing the sick in an African clinic
He works in the dirt and writes home to the cynics
He says "We work through the night so most every day
As we watch the sun rise we can say

Chorus

Well I know a man who's been doing some thinking
He's as bitter and cold as the whiskey he's drinking
He's talking 'bout fear, about chances not taken
If you listen to him you can hear his heart breaking
He says "One day you're a boy and the next day you're dead
I wish way back when someone had said

Chorus

Well one thing I've noticed, wherever I wander
Everyone's got a dream he can follow or squander
You can do what you will with the days you are given
I'm trying to spend mine on the business of living
So I'm singing my songs off of any old stage
You can laugh if you want, I'll still say

Chorus

The above lyrics and artist names are copyrighted to Carolyn Arends. They appear  here for educational and personal use only.

The Challenge

For those of us who subscribe to the writings in the good book:

Let the giving of thanks be your sacrifice to God, and give the Almighty all that you promised.

- Psalm 50:14 (Good News Bible)

Now is the time to make the most of every opportunity. Remember all those new year resolutions you made last week? 2010 is now here with us.

Seize the day... the clock is ticking...

Curtain falls on 2009. Welcoming 2010 sans Fear, Regret and Guilt

Lynette Scavo: Hey! Mary-Alice, are you okay?
Mary Alice Young: Yes, thank you. I'm fine.
Lynette: No, you're not. I can tell. Please, tell me what's wrong. Let me save you.
Mary Alice: You can't.
Lynette: Why not?
Mary Alice: Sweety, we can't prevent what we can't predict!
Lynette: Isn't there anything I could do?
Mary Alice: Yes. You can enjoy this beautiful day. We get so few of them.

- Desperate Housewives (season 3 episode 07)

Looking Back

This is the last day of 2009.

364 days have passed since we ushered in the new year on January 01, 2009. It's now time to look back, take stock and get ready for 2010.

2009 Highlights... or Otherwise

It is true that 2009 had many highlights in our individual and collective lives. In all honesty however, we must have done several things in the year that we are not very proud of. Additionally, several other things never went our way. Even the best laid plans sometimes fail.

Some of our 2010 resolutions may actually be inspired by, and predicated on guilt, regret, missed opportunities and worry.

Inspiring Music

Previously on The Walkabout, we have dealt with these on our inspiring music sections:

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we’re all OK
And not to worry ’cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these

- Jewel (Hands)

Too many shadows in my room
Too many hours in this midnight
Too many corners in my mind
So much to do to set my heart right

... I’m in repair
I’m not together but I’m getting there

- John Mayer (In Repair)

From the Prince of Peace album, Carolyn Arends talks of someone who regrets that he did not "seize the day".

Well I know a man  who's been doin' some thinkin'
He's as bitter and cold as the whisky he's drinkin'
He's talkin' bout fear  'bout chances not traken
If you listen to him you can hear his heart  breakin'
He says "One day youra boy  The next day you're dead
I wish way back when someone had said...

- Carolyn Arends (Seize the Day)

The Way Ahead

The best way to look at the year that ends today is as an opportunity to learn and grow. And even if you missed the mark here and there, use the same as a stepping stone on your way to better days.

It is worth noting that things don't usually go wrong. Things usually start wrong.
Starting on the right track is a key way of ensuring things work out well in 2010. The first day of the year presents a perfect opportunity to get it right from the start.

For what it's worth, do not be held back by regret and guilt. As Mary Alice Young told Lynette Scavo in Desperate Housewives (season 3 episode 07), you cannot prevent what you cannot predict.

God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny. Now is the time to seize the opportunities, effect the requisite changes, and make the most of every opportunity.

Let us all face the future with confidence in 2010.

Chasing Happiness: Why not Wait and Let Happiness Follow You?

Power Up

It's interesting how we rediscover some things.

I have previously shared some stories I used to listen to on Family FM's (now Radio 316) 'Power Up', in both my [now defunct] Facebook Notes and past blog posts on The Walkabout.



Fable

 

The other day, I was reading the Sunday Nation and in Mutahi Ngunyi's article, I saw the full text of yet another story that was once shared on Power Up. It is from a fable by C. L. James.

Following is 'Chasing Happiness' for you. Be edified:

CHASING HAPPINESS

An old dog saw a puppy chasing its tail and asked, “why are you chasing your tail?” The young puppy replied, “I have mastered philosophy; I have solved the problems of the universe which no dog before me has solved; I have learnt that the best thing for a dog is happiness, and that happiness is in my tail. Therefore, I am chasing it, and when I catch it, I shall be happy.”

The old and seasoned dog stared at the little puppy and responded, “My son, I, too, have paid attention to the problems of the universe in my weak ways and I have formed some opinions.

I have realized that happiness is a fine thing for a dog. And that happiness is in my tail. However, I have also noticed that when I chase after it, it keeps running away from me, but when I go about my business as usual, it follows me.”

 

Precious Illusions

So, are you still chasing happiness?
Chances are, it'll still elude you just as the tail eluded the puppy.
Now is the time to get on with life, doing what is required of us, and purposing to add value both in our lives and those of others.

Only then will happiness follow us. It surely will.

The Laws of Simplicity

Less is More

Simplicity is a vital aspect of life that is often overlooked. Many believe that complex means more, and therefore better. The truth is quite to the contrary.

In design, simplicity is a key component of a rich user experience and robust function. This has been further explored at Complit Design. Less is more in design, and therefore better.

A Simple Life. A Life most Uncommon

The complexities of daily living make it hard for us to imagine living a simple life. There's simply so much to consider, so much to attend to and so much that is expected of us.

With all this in mind, we seldom have time to even notice and appreciate the simple things in life that matter the most.

The Laws of Simplicity

[caption id="attachment_461" align="aligncenter" width="201" caption="The Laws of Simplicity by John Maeda"][/caption]



John Maeda is a renowned graphic designer, artist and computer scientist at the MIT Media Lab.

He also co-directs the radical SIMPLICITY initiative which seeks to re-examine ways of breaking free from the complexity of today's technology and redefine the way users relate to the technology in their daily lives.

He wrote The Laws of Simplicity in 2005/6. The book details the following 10 Laws:

1. REDUCE
   The simplest way to achieve simplicity is through thoughtful reduction.


2. ORGANIZE
   Organization makes a system of many appear fewer.


3. TIME
   Savings in time feel like simplicity.


4. LEARN
   Knowledge makes everything simpler.


5. DIFFERENCES
   Simplicity and complexity need each other.


6. CONTEXT
   What lies in the periphery of simplicity is definitely not peripheral.


7. EMOTION
   More emotions are better than less.


8. TRUST
   In simplicity we trust.


9. FAILURE
   Some things can never be made simple.


10. THE ONE
    Simplicity is about subtracting the obvious, and adding the meaningful.

You can read about the 10 laws at the Laws of Simplicity web site.

Read The Book

Having looked at the excerpt and watched John Maeda's TED Talk about the simple life, The Laws of Simplicity is a book worth reading.

http://video.ted.com/assets/player/swf/EmbedPlayer.swf

It is bound to remind you some simple truths that can positively affect both your personal and professional life.

Back on The Walkabout. The Hiatus is so Over!

Inspired Reading

This comeback post has been inspired by  a blog post by a friend  on Purpose, and by a Goals Report by Brian Tracy that I recently read.

[caption id="attachment_443" align="aligncenter" width="350" caption="The Purpose of Life"][/caption]

Peter's Walkabout

On March 10 2009, Peter's Walkabout was launched. From the very first post, we sought to identify, share and benefit from whatever lessons life throws at us in everything we see,  hear, experience, think or imagine. In short, The Walkabout was just but a journey of Insight, Inspiration and Self Discovery.

Back in the day, I posted an average of three posts each week. This gradually became two posts every week and eventually, there were no posts at all from July 31, 2009.

Comfort Zones

With time, several distractions made me lose sight of my original goal of writing consistently, on and about things that added value. Looking back, I kept offering excuses to myself and justifying every sundown without an additional post on my walkabout. . . increased design workload, meetings, social engagements and mush more.

Other excuses were that I was reading (yes I do read a lot) or watching TV Series (Desperate Housewives, Fringe, North Shore etc...) and movies.

Eventually, I had to completely redesign my web site. The new Complit Communications web site had to reflect significant growth in my design and creative writing business, and part of this involved the setting up of a design blog - Complit Design. This has since been done, but the already configured blogs (Complit Design, The Walkabout and Green Kenya) still remain unattended.

It was when I finished reading Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol and a Facebook note titled "Knowledge, Strength, Love and Happiness" by one Eric Ng'eno that I realized I was in pretty much the same illusory state a la Zebediah Lomack in Strangers by Dean Koontz. It was time to wake up, smell the coffee and actually do the needful.

Renewed Purpose

In the movie SAW III, Jigsaw says,

Despite having all the advantages, many of us still choose not to advance.

From Goals by Brian Tracy (all you have to do to get this report is follow Brian Tracy on Twitter), he highlights several things that define success. Key among them is Self-Discipline, Character and Persistence.

In The Memoirs, my friend's journey "will take a lot of commitment to keep it going, a lot of discipline on my part, and a lot of giving."

The Way Ahead

That said, I'll no longer postpone on The Walkabout. This being a purpose-driven endeavor, I'll seek to continually learn and share with my loyal readers.

Finally, let us be reminded of the very reason why we do some of the noble things we do. The reason is far much bigger than ourselves.

From his January 20th 2009 Inauguration speech, US President Barack Obama said the following words:

"This is the source of our confidence: the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny."

"let us remember these timeless words; with hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come; let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth..."

Let us continue learning and sharing together.

God bless The Walkabout, and every place else.

Cheers to this Walkabout comeback!

Critical Thinking: Tools For Taking Charge Of Your Professional AndPersonal Life

Critical Thinking is a vital part of development and cognition. Every action is predicated on one's thought process, it's therefore imperative that the thinking itself be healthy and forward-looking.

Critical Thinking: Tools For Taking Charge Of Your Professional And Personal Life, was published in 2002 by the Financial Times Prentice Hall. It's written by Richard Paul and Linda Elder.

At CriticalThinking.org, this book is introduced thus:

You are what you think…
Everything you do in life is determined by the quality of your thinking. If you aren't thinking clearly, you're at the mercy of everyone else-from dishonest politicians to aggressive, stop-at-nothing ad agencies. Unfortunately, many people never give any thought to how they think. No wonder they're susceptible to the frustration, pain, ineffectiveness, and financial loss that result directly from poorly considered thinking. Critical Thinking is about becoming a better thinker in every aspect of your life-as a professional, as a consumer, citizen, friend, parent, and even as a lover.

This book explores the six stages of thinking, and challenges readers to find out what kind of thinker they are. These are:

• Stage 1 The Unreflective Thinker (we are unaware of significant problems in our thinking)
• Stage 2 The Challenged Thinker (we become aware of problems in our thinking)
• Stage 3 The Beginning Thinker (we try to improve, but without regular practice)
• Stage 4 The Practicing Thinker (we recognize the necessity of regular practice)
• Stage 5 The Advanced Thinker (we advance in accordance with our practice)
• Stage 6 The Master Thinker (skilled and insightful thinking becomes second nature)

CONTENTS

Acknowledgment Preface
Ch. 1:    Thinking in a World of Accelerating Change and Intensifying Danger
Ch. 2:    Becoming a Critic of Your Thinking
Ch. 3:    Becoming a Fair-Minded Thinker
Ch. 4:    Self-Understanding
Ch. 5:    The First Four Stages of Development: What Level Thinker are You?
Ch. 6:    The Parts of Thinking
Ch. 7:    The Standards for Thinking
Ch. 8:    Design Your Life
Ch. 9:    The Art of Making Intelligent Decisions
Ch. 10: Taking Charge of Your Irrational Tendencies
Ch. 11:  Monitoring Your Sociocentric Tendencies
Ch. 12:  Developing as an Ethical Reasoner
Ch. 13:  Analyzing and Evaluating Thinking in Corporate and Organizational Life
Ch. 14:  The Power and Limits of Professional Knowledge (And of the Disciplines that Underlie Them)
Ch. 15:  Strategic Thinking Part One
Ch. 16:  Strategic Thinking Part Two
Glossary: A Guide to Critical Thinking Terms and Concepts References

This book is high recommended for anyone who wishes to become better in both their personal and professional lives. It helps you exercise more informed and effective thinking. This will definitely improve your life.

Get Your FREE Copy 
If you need a copy of this book in PDF format, just Email me [info<at>peternjenga<dot>com] and I'll Email you one.

Learn, share and think more critically.

Lost in translation . . .

Guest post by PinkM

Well, Pete honored me by asking me to guest post on here. No idea what wisdom is expected, but I’ll do my best to be me.

A couple of days ago, I did this post on giving and uplifting others in all I do, and a couple of comments prompted this post.

See, we have the tendency to use English translations in relationships, and from my observation, they don’t always hold true. For example:

Giving / Receiving - According to the dictionary definition, these two are opposites right? Well, in relationships, they’re not. People have the tendency to believe that one has to be a giver or a receiver; you cannot be a perennial giver, and a receiver. If one is building themselves into being a giver, it’s taken to mean that that person will not receive. That’s not true.
The opposite of giving is not giving. The opposite of receiving is not receiving.

My saying I want to be ever generous means, I want to move from the position of not giving (all the time), to giving (all the time). Receiving comes in another context. Basically, giving and receiving IMO are not mutually exclusive.

Making Others Shine – Again, the opposite of this isn’t dimming my light. It just means that external approval will cease to be so important to me, and instead, I’ll channel that light onto someone who need it more to build their confidence.
Case in point. You have an important project to deliver, but instead of working on it and taking all the glory (which will mean less time, and more efficiency for the company), you help your junior do the work, and let him take the glory.

IMO, in that case, I haven’t dimmed my light one bit. See, I know I can do it and do it well, but the person beside me needs to learn. He needs to build his confidence in whatever task. He’s still growing.
Letting those beside you take the glory is a sign of growth and security in who you are, and as such, outside affirmation doesn’t mean that much (nose in the air self righteousness)

Character vs Personality – I was watching this episode of Desperate  Housewives that they talk about why you should probably love the rude neighbor who will speak their mind, and not trust so much, the polite neighbor, who has nothing but kind words for you, and nothing else (this was in reference to Susan, the rude neighbor and Orson, the ever so polite guy, who was stealing from everyone).

I get this feeling that society is emphasizing so much on people developing perfect personalities, without advocating for fundamental character issues.
We’re taught to say the right thing, the right words and everything to keep the peace.

As long as you’re 'correct' you’re accepted. Something is fundamentally wrong with that. Let us work on character development and sincerity, and at the end of the day, we’ll be a better people.

The Unexpected Changes Our Lives

"The expected is just what keeps us steady, standing, still
The expected is just the beginning
The unexpected is what changes our lives."
- Meredith Grey (in Grey's Anatomy Season 3 Episode 13)

Have you ever had very great expectations, only to have them nipped in the bud at the eleventh hour? Have you ever had something you highly valued and looked forward to taken away right before your eyes?

Well, it happened to me in October 2008 and I now proceed to share the invaluable lesson I learnt and the insight acquired from that experience.

October 3, 2008 wasn't a good day for me at all. I was quite disappointed upon receiving information that something I had been looking forward to all of September would actually not materialize. For a moment, I felt like someone gave me a 'Shattered Dreams' low blow kick like Goldust used to do in the WWE.

Coincidentally, I had watched "Great Expectations", the 13th episode in the 3rd season of Grey's Anatomy, just a week before this incident. Whereas I am not that bad at accepting reality, letting go and moving on, I found it difficult to embrace the fact that the other party (a large, well respected media house) in the aforementioned situation had not bothered to inform me of the change in plans before the due date. Clearly, courtesy was wanting here, but c'est la vie, that's life.

Thinking of the effect many 'great expectations' do have in our lives, I now realize that these expectations can sometimes hold us back and therefore limit our ability to expand our horizons.

We so badly cling to these 'great' expectations that we are blinded from other opportunities that lie ahead of us. To make matters worse, these expectations do cloud our judgment and hamper our ability to face challenges.

The worst that can happen when we just focus on getting what we already expect is that we become myopic and overlook the long term.

Once again, I found a possible solution to problems occasioned by unmet 'great expectations' in Grey's Anatomy. (If you still haven't watched this show, I strongly recommend that you do. It is funny, and full of wisdom).

Consider the following:

GREAT EXPECTATIONS
Words by Meredith Grey

No one believes their life will turn out just 'kind of okay'
We all think we're going to be great
And from the day we decide to (be surgeons)
We are filled, with expectation...
Expectations of the trails we will blaze
The people we will help
The difference we will make
Great expectations of who we will be
Where we will go
And then... we get there.

We all think we're going to be great
And we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren't met
But sometimes, our expectations sell us short
Sometimes, the expected simply pales in comparison, to the unexpected
You gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations
Because the expected is just what keeps us steady, standing, still
The expected is just the beginning
The unexpected is what changes our lives.

- Meredith Grey (Grey's Anatomy Season 3 Episode 13)

You can watch the entire 'Great Expectations' episode here.

In life, you've got to expect the unexpected. Do not be limited by the familiar. Broaden your view. Cover new ground.

Learn, share and purpose to free yourself from the old, familiar, and 'well known' expectations.
Have the courage to realize that PLAN and REALITY are seldom, if ever, synonymous.

The End of Something. The Beginning, of Everything

"It was the end of something.
It was the beginning, of everything."
-Nokia N Series (The Fourth Screen) TV ad

I once read somewhere that every sundown is a challenge. It marks the end of yet another day. The end of something.

Unfortunately, that is all we see sometimes. We fail to realize that the end of any day paves the way for a brand new day, a new beginning.

Endings are necessary for beginnings to make any sense. The good news is that the end of something can actually be the beginning of everything.

This is because any new beginning can be predicated on what just ended. The lesson has already been learnt. The mistakes can now be avoided. Improvement is now inevitable. Growth and progress is only natural.

Armed with knowledge gained from experience, we can now do all that is required to get to the finish line. We can even go the extra mile. We can go the distance to realize our goals.

Following is the Nokia 4th Screen TV advert video. Be edified:



From now on, purpose to acknowledge that many endings signify brand new beginnings. That the old must pave way for the new. That each sunset heralds a new day. A new beginning. The beginning, of everything.
Now do the needful.

Learn, share, and realize that your best days are ahead of you. It's time to move on.

Delayed Gratification. Self Control. Most vital Ingredients for Success

Don't Eat the Marshmallow, yet.

This is a short talk Dr Joachim De Posada gave at the 2009  TED U conference. He underscores the essence of delaying gratification and having self control, character traits which should be grained from an early stage in child development.

In fact, this character trait can be used to predict future success in a person.

Be edified:



Watch the talk, download the video (19.8MB, MP4) and join the discussion at the TED web site.

Learn, share and don't you eat the marshmallow, yet.

The Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.
- Sidney and Suzanne Simon (WisdomQuotes.com)

Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. But who gets to forgive who?

In some contexts, forgiveness may be granted without any expectation of compensation, and without any response on the part of the offender. In practical terms however, it may be necessary for the offender to offer some form of acknowledgment, apology, and/or restitution, or even just ask for forgiveness, in order for the wronged person to believe they are able to forgive.

To better understand forgiveness, consider the following:

• Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It is not something you do FOR someone else. It is not complicated. It is simple.


• Choice is always present in forgiveness. You do not have to forgive AND there are consequences. Refusing to forgive by holding on to the anger, resentment and a sense of betrayal can make your own life miserable. A vindictive mind-set creates bitterness and lets the betrayer claim one more victim.


• The greatest misconception about forgiveness is the belief that forgiving the offense, such as an affair, means that you condone it. Not true. In fact, we can only forgive what we know to be wrong. Forgiveness does not mean that you have to reconcile with someone who badly treated you.


• Forgiveness is an act of the imagination. It dares you to imagine a better future, one that is based on the blessed possibility that your hurt will not be the final word on the matter. It challenges you to give up your destructive thoughts about the situation and to believe in the possibility of a better future. It builds confidence that you can survive the pain and grow from it.


• When you forgive you do it for you, not for the other. The person you have never forgiven. . . owns you!Forgiving someone else is to agree within yourself to overlook the wrong they have committed against you and to move on with your life. It's the only way. It means cutting them some slack.


• Forgiveness is a creative act that changes us from prisoners of the past to liberated people at peace with our memories. It is not forgetfulness, but it involves accepting the promise that the future can be more than dwelling on memories of past injury.

Ponder the following about forgiveness:

FORGIVENESS
by Reinhold Neibuhr

Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime,
Therefore, we are saved by hope.
Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history;
Therefore, we are saved by faith.
Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone.
Therefore, we are saved by love.
No virtuous act is quite a virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own;
Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness.

Has anyone wronged you lately? Now is the time to free yourself by forgiving them.

This week, be reminded of what Confucius said.

"The more you know yourself, the more you forgive yourself."

Learn, share and experience the power of forgiveness.

Until My Change Comes... I'll wait, Renew my Strength and Keep Holding On

The first episode of the fourth season of Grey's Anatomy is titled 'A Change is Gonna Come'. Following is an excerpt of the episode transcript:

"In the practice of medicine, change is inevitable. New surgical techniques are created, procedures are updated, levels of expertise increase.
Innovation is everything. Nothing remains the same for long. We either adapt to change...or we get left behind........"

The above words got me thinking.
Yeah, it's true that we get inspired and hopeful whenever we envision change. We even get motivated when we encounter new people and situations that effect change and thereby enhance our lives.

But what about that transition period? That period of waiting as change happens? What keeps us going at the time?

I found my answer in a song I first listened to ten years ago - 'Until My Change Comes' by Commissioned. It's from the album 'Times and Seasons', which was released in the year 2000.

Consider the following:

UNTIL MY CHANGE COMES
By Commissioned

It's been a long time coming
But a change is gonna come
When the dark clouds pass away
Feel the warmness of the sun
I know that You love me, oh yeah,
I know that you care
I can't wait to be by Your side
In the middle of the air.

CHORUS
Until my change comes
Here's what I'll do
Renew my strength
Keep holding on
I'll wait on You.

(REPEAT)

It ain't gonna be easy
But I'll be strong. Some say if You
Really cared um,
It's wouldn't take so long for You to
Return for me
If with You is where I ought to be
But I'm gonna believe until that day
I will.... until...

CHORUS

BRIDGE

Gotta wait gotta wait on you
That's what I'm gonna do
I'm gonna stand still
I just wanna be in your will
Just like David and Goliath
I gotta encourage my soul, yeah
Said I'm gonna stand still
Until um...

CHORUS * CHORUS * CHORUS

The above lyrics and artist names are copyrighted to Commissioned. They appear  here for educational and personal use only.

So back to the Grey's Anatomy transcript...

"Change. we don't like it, we fear it.
But we can't stop it from coming.
We either adapt to change, or we get left behind.
It hurts to grow. Anybody who tells you it doesn't is lying.
But here's the truth. sometimes the more things change, the more they stay the same.
And sometimes...oh, sometimes change is good.
Sometimes change is...everything."

Learn, share and be an agent of positive change. Both in your life and those of others.

Who or What Determines, Shapes and Changes Our Character?

"We are each the authors of our own lives...
there is no way to shift the blame,
and no one else to accept the accolades."
- Paul McGill (in A Woman of Substance)

Pathology

Late last year, I watched the movie Pathology. It is a sick thriller in which a group of residents studying pathology devise a lively game: to see which one of them can commit the perfect square murder.

In the movie, Teddy Grey graduates top of his class and joins one of the nation’s most prestigious Pathology programs. On joining a group of elite pathology interns, he begins to uncover secrets he never expected and finds that he has unknowingly become a pawn in their dangerous and secret after-hours game at the morgue of who can commit the perfect undetectable murder.

This is in line with his earlier assertion that human beings are inherently evil, that people are animals who can kill anyone.

Environmental Effects on Character

A fortnight before this, one of my favorite bloggers had written about change. Savvy's question was,

"Who says campus does not corrupt?"
She wrote, "Last year, I used to be up by five almost every morning. This year, I’d be lucky if I can drag myself out of bed before 7am. Obviously, I barely make it for early morning classes.

"Last year, I would have been shocked if I heard stories of students who (smoke) weed, have unprotected sex, get pregnant, abort, use morning after pills on a daily basis and not give a thought to HIV. This year, it doesn’t surprise me anymore." [read more...]

Lost in Character

My favorite TV show LOST, explores this within its mythology. The character and beliefs of John Locke (English philosopher and thinker) are alluded to both in name and character by John Locke. John Locke believed that the mind was a "blank slate" or "tabula rasa".

Essentially, Locke postulated and maintained that people are born without innate ideas - that human beings are born with no built-in mental content, in a word, "blank", and that their entire resource of knowledge is built up gradually from their experiences and sensory perceptions of the outside world.

The Chicken, The Egg and Responsibility

Looking at another source of insight, Ngishili writes on The Chicken, the Egg, and Responsibility. It so happens that in a typical farm,

"each chicken has a specific character that distinguishes it from all the others in the farm. One of those chicken characteristics has to do with the ability to reproduce successfully. The farmer will tell you that some chicken exhibit much responsibility towards the task of parenting while others are extremely careless." "As you can see, the story of responsibility is as old as the story of the chicken and the egg. Whether at your place of work, in personal relationships, in a family or even in a community, life favors always go to the most responsible person."

In life however, we see that many people seek freedom while trying to avoid responsibility. This is wrong, since freedom is responsibility. When you're free, you're automatically responsible for your own future. And the things your freedom lets you do become a manifestation of your character.

Bottom Line

So who or what determines, shapes and even changes character? Is it those we interact with? Is it fate? Do we get to choose to be good or bad, or are we inherently evil?

Now it the time to take a good look at your friends, circumstances, environment and the company you keep. Carefully consider whatever influences you.
Once you identify who or what shapes your character, do the needful and effect the necessary changes.

Let us learn, share and progress together.

Screw It. Let's Do It: Lessons in Life and Business by Sir Richard Branson

Sir Richard Branson
Besides Apple Inc CEO Steve Jobs, Richard Branson is one of those individuals I hold in very high regard. The Virgin Group Chairman is a maverick, a legend and a genius. His avant-garde way of doing things is world-renown, and it has won him as much respect as it has put him in personal danger.

Watching Richard Branson at TED, you realize he is one of those people who had humble beginnings, but rose to prominence through hard work, determination and discipline. His self belief has propelled him in life, in business and in those dare-devil stunts he keeps pulling.

Richard Branson has a penchant for unconventional things. He is a natural round peg in a square hole. For instance, his book titles viz: 'Losing My Virginity', 'Business Stripped Bare' and 'Screw It. Let's Do It' further enhance his boldness in daring to think and be different.

Screw It. Let's Do It.
This is an easy to read book that simply offers lessons in life and in business.  It has received favorable reviews at Amazon and elsewhere. Following is a sample review:

It's quick, it's easy, it's not preachy, it's positive. It's packed full of good advice and examples from Richard Branson's own life. He calls them his "lessons in life". He also says, "A journey of a thousand miles starts with that first step" -- and he's right.
Reading this book, by the friendly genius that the media has dubbed a maverick in paradise, could be that first step to a positive and fulfilling life and perhaps a wealthy one. He says he can't tell people how to get rich fast and he doesn't have any secrets to success; all he has is "truths" and examples that worked for him and could work for you.
Making money isn't his first goal -- having fun and doing good are. But he says if you have fun, then the money will come -- and explains why he says it. Every chapter is filled with his philosophy, spelled out in a simple and direct way. Chapter headings like "Just Do It!" "Be Bold"; "Have Fun!"; "Challenge Yourself"; "Value Family and Friends" are useful guides for everyone to follow.
It's a great little book to read at odd moments. I read it all the way through in less than an hour, and instantly felt driven and motivated to get cracking with that project I've been putting off.
Everyone should read this book and every teenager should be given a copy. It could be resonsible for turning things around and producing a society of motivated go-getters.

Read another comprehensive review at the Financial Inspiration Cafe.

Book Highlights
Following are the chapter titles and key highlights in the book:

1. Just Do It

• Believe it can be done


• Have Goals


• Live life to the full


• Never Give Up


• Prepare Well


• Have Faith in Yourself


• Help Each other

2. Have Fun

• Have fun, work hard and money will come


• Don't waste time - grab your chances


• Have a positive outlook on life


• When it's not fun, move on

3. Be Bold

• Calculate the risks and take them


• Believe in yourself


• Chase your dreams and goals


• Have no regrets


• Be bold


• Keep your word

4. Challenge yourself

• Aim high


• Try new things


• Always try


• Challenge yourself

5. Stand on your own feet

• Rely on yourself


• Chase your dreams, but live in the real world


• Work Together

6. Live the Moment

• Love life and live it to the full


• Enjoy the moment


• Reflect on your life


• Make every second count


• Don't have Regrets

7. Value Family and Friends

• Put the family and the team first


• Be loyal


• Face problems head on


• Money is for making things happen


• Pick the right people and reward talent

8. Have Respect

• Be polite and Respectful


• Do the Right thing


• Keep your good name


• Be fair in all your dealings

9. Do some good

• Change the world, even if in a small way


• Make a difference and help others


• Do no harm


• Always think of what you can do to help

Bottom Line
This book is highly recommended. I have started reading it, and like both the content therein and its presentation.

In the epilogue, Richard Branson sums up by saying the following:

I have always lived my life by thriving on chances and adventure. The motive that drives me has always been to set myself challenges and try to achieve them. Every lesson I have learned has been as a direct result of these tests.

In closing, the book simply reverts to its title - the fact that it all boils down to doing.

All the things in this book are my lessons and my goals in life, the things I believe in. But they are not unique to me. Everyone needs to keep learning. Everyone needs goals. Each and every one of my lessons can be applied to all of us. Whatever we want to be, whatever we want to do, we can do it. Go ahead. Take that first step - just do it.

That's it people. Richard Branson has said it all, and said it really well.

Let us learn, share and actually get to do the needful. Screw It. Let's Do It!

Optimism: How cooperation (eventually) trumps conflict - Robert Wright's TED Talk

Robert Wright gave the following talk during the TED Global Conference in Monterey, California in 2006.

In what he kept referring to as an "upbeat talk", Robert Wright explains "non-zero-sumness"—the network of linked fortunes and cooperation that has guided our evolution to this point—and how we can use it to help save humanity today.



Watch this talk at the TED website or download the video (MP4 format, 66MB).

Let us learn, share and keep effecting positive change together.