It's said that the more things change, the more they stay the same. A lot has changed since 2020 when the Covid-19 hit globally and altered how we do business, interact with others.
In Kenya, the turmoil and upheaval that was occasioned by the Corona Virus has been exacerbated by severe drought, runaway corruption, plunder of public resources and imprudent political decisions - all of which have led to a very high cost of living that a generally starving public has to grapple with.
These words from 'Changes' by 3 Doors Down may very likely encompass the depressing feeling shared by many:
I'm feeling weak and weary Walking through this world alone Everything you say, every word of it Cuts me to the bone I've got something to say But now I've got no where to turn It feels like I've been buried underneath All the weight of the world
Now I'm going through changes, changes God, I feel so frustrated lately When I get suffocated, save me Now I'm falling apart, now I feel it But I'm going through changes, changes.
Thankfully, all is not lost.
* * *
Many years ago, we wrote on The Walkabout, a post that was inspired by Sn05 Ep14 of the ABC TV show 'LOST.' There is a scene in 'The Variable' where Daniel Faraday talks to Jack Shephard about the ability of people to change in order to shape destiny.
This scene contains a valuable insight about making a distinction between the things in life that can change and those those cannot. We focus so much on the constants in our lives, and not the variables that are necessary in making a difference.
* * *
Lots of ungood things have happened to a whole lot of us in recent times. It may seem like you wake up to a bad day every morning. But all is not lost.
“There's only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.” - Oscar Wilde.
“There's no such thing as bad publicity,” according to P.T. Barnum. We inhabit a world where the end justifies the means and any means of getting attention is acceptable as long as the message gets across.
* * *
But does it matter how the message gets delivered?
Does infringing on the rights of others through damaging property, or occasioning public disturbances that make it difficult or impossible for others to go about their business acceptable? Would it be right to use indecent or disgusting acts as a means of attention-seeking?
There is a very comprehensive, longform article in the New York Times about how disgust explains everything.
"Disgust shapes our behavior, our technology, our relationships. It is the reason we wear deodorant, use the bathroom in private and wield forks instead of eating with our bare hands."
* * *
In the 'Generous Orthodoxy' episode of Revisionist History, Malcolm Gladwell outlines the concept of having respect for the body one is trying to heal. This makes it necessary to maintain decorum and dignity even when aggrieved. And the need to stay in line with properly laid-down procedures in registering one's displeasure.
In a society where unbridled expression in the name of free speech is allowed, there will be little to no regard to the rights of others. We need to live and let live.
"And these all, having obtained a good report through faith, received not the promise..." - Hebrews 11:39
* * *
My friend and neighbor, John K. died on Friday afternoon, November 11. And when I heard the news about 6:30pm that evening, I was devastated. Yes, he had been unwell for a while. Yes, he had in the past recovered from worse afflictions and bounced back to good health. It was however, different this time around.
* * *
The Bible calls us to hope. To persevere, and have faith in things not seen..
"They were living by faith when they died," Scripture tells us. "They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on Earth."
This is how President Obama began his remarks in Eulogy for Reverend Clementa Pinckney who among others, was gunned down in a mass shooting at a church in Charleston, South Carolina.
* * *
John died of meningitis.
In worldly, materialistic terms, he died at the worst possible time. Having known the guy for more than a decade, this year was to be his best.
He had recently built a very nice house but had only occupied it for less than a month. For the first time in years, the guy had good cash running into some million shillings in the bank. He was looking at very steady, recurrent income for years to come.
All the planning and execution of grand plans that the guy had made in the last two or three years was only now beginning to bear fruit. In our view, 'huyu jamaa sasa alikuwa amefika.'
But all that was not to be.
* * *
Speaking with my sister about John's death, we explored the place of hope and making long-term plans when death can - in an instant - take it all away. Winni opined that much as there are no guarantees that we'll see another day, we each have a reason to hope. And to willfully do good things that will most likely benefit others.
The thing about not knowing when one will die is what makes life pretty interesting.
We know of people who have given up on life and extravagantly spent up all their money with the belief that they'll die in a few years... Only to live for decades in self-afflicted misery. We also know of people who pass on at the prime of their career, or just after seemingly 'making it' in life.
This is because each one of us is subject to his or her own timeline in this life. In my view, much of what we do in this life is in fact meant to benefit us for a while, and others for much longer.
* * *
I have this poem that I make sure to share soon after I make a new friend:
"Each day is a new beginning, Another chance to learn more about ourselves, And to care more about others."
It is true that life offers no guarantees. But we can shape an uncertain future through our words and deeds. We can ensure we continue to have an impact after we die. We can continue to live for years if we seize the day and selflessly do things that will, long after we are gone, benefit others.
One of the things I love to do, and invariably envisage when engaging others, is "adding value." Interacting in ways that make a difference, have meaning and add value is what I consider key aspects of my life's work. Hopefully, a life well lived.
But what is value? Value is basically the usefulness, worth or importance of something.
* * *
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about value, and how it is related to both time and money. Thing is, life in the modern world revolves around making and then spending money. In some cases, there's a bit of managing money in between making and spending it.
And since money is a store of value, many of us have got to a point where we value nearly everything in terms of money. Only that it isn't entirely possible. But that's beside the point.
My focus today is the time value of money.
* * *
There are several ways of looking at this:
The first one, and the easiest and most useful way is how a single human being who only has 24 hours in a day, can get so many things done within that same time that s/he isn't able to do alone.
How this is done is by using the time resource of others. And this is what is at the core of employment, where one commits his or her time (in addition to other resources such as skills and effort) and in return, gets compensated/renumerated (wages or more commonly, salary). In this way, labor becomes a key factor of production which can be multiplied many times over through addition of people. The sum total of this is measured as man-hours.
A second one is the effect passage of time has on the value of money. And I'll give an example: About a dozen years ago, I contracted someone to make for me several windows and doors. I have so far used six of those windows in the house I currently occupy. Four windows still remain in storage, and will likely be used to build a new house.
Earlier this year, I decided I needed two new windows in a smaller size than what I already have in storage. Upon enquiry, I realized that those smaller windows now cost more than twice what I paid in 2010. And worse, the metal used to make such windows these days is of a lighter gauge (poorer quality). In short, the amount of money I used acquiring those ten windows a dozen years ago is not enough to buy five windows today.
The economic term for this is inflation. That over time, money loses value. It is for this reason that storing money in the bank in a savings account or under the mattress in the form of notes and coins is a very bad idea. Most of the things money can buy today, the same amount of cash cannot buy in the future.
But there is yet another way of looking at this.
* * *
Using the same example of my windows in storage, they haven't changed one bit and can still be used to build a house. The same goes for any construction material e.g. sand, ballast, stones that does not degrade over time. Cement is obviously an exception, since it contains active ingredients whose viability is only guaranteed for about 90 days... I digress.
The point here is that buying construction materials or storing money in terms of items that do not degrade is not an end in and of itself. Stagnation is no value addition. Suppose what I did was build a house that then got occupied by tenants. Or a shop from which I would be selling things at a profit. Or a store that I would be leasing out...
There is an opportunity cost arising from merely storing items of value without putting them to good use. Gainful use. In other words, the time value of money is increased significantly when things acquired using money are in turn used to make more money.
Using the analogy of an airplane in the sky, it not only takes having a pilot in the cockpit to fly that plane. The pilot has to be doing the right things for that plane to fly.
So, with the time - which cannot be stored nor recovered once it passes - we each have each day, are you merely storing value, or actively adding value?
* * *
Having a brand new computer is no guarantee for a bright future in sales. One has to seize the day, starting today. At least we have a much easier time in that we can linearly and serially plan our time unlike Dr Manhattan for whom everything happens right now!
While working outdoors this past weekend, I listened to a podcast episode that really changed how I view both myself and others.
For a long time, I thought I had a clear understanding of why human beings (including me) have particularly irrational tendencies. In particular, on matters where mistakes have been made or where firmly-held beliefs are challenged.
I had, or so I thought, gained substantial insights from such books and talks as:
From mid 2021, I started reading Mistakes Were Made (But not by Me) and this opened up a whole new understanding on such important things as confirmation bias, cognitive dissonance and justifying our mistakes..
We're truly on a roll about podcasts this Walkabout Wednesday. After all, the truth is out there... isn't it? Yeah, human logic is so twisted, you have no idea.
We are used to seeing inspirational quotes like the one above. But a week ago today, I came across a meme on Twitter. Below a pretty interesting graphic of someone doing tedious work, the caption was:
"Your kids will not benefit from your struggles, but from your successes."
* * *
That has inspired this week's Walkabout Wednesday.
I won't add much to the aforementioned caption, other than share something else that resonates very well with that insight. This is from one of my top three all-time favorite books: How to Win in the Coming Jua Kali Boom by Samuel M. Wamae.
This book is a highly recommend read as the author provides practical guidelines and steps towards self determination and gainful enterprise for an individual in an African setting. Specifically, in Kenya.
Following is the final chapter on Results:
* * *
We have all grown up praising struggle and effort. A key message in schools is that 'Hard Work Pays.' But I think there is no reward that emanates from merely putting in effort.
It is a bit contrarian to say this, but people get rewarded for had work bears great results. Not just working hard. And it is for this reason that being innovative and effective make a whole lot of difference.
Because there is great reward in efficient effort. That is what we now need to believe on this journey of life.
When she first woke up that Tuesday morning, made the day's plans and proceeded to go about her work, she had no idea she wouldn't see the end of that day.
This song by Nickelback has some pretty deep lyrics. Here's the first few lines:
My best friend gave me the best advice He said each day's a gift and not a given right Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind And try to take the path less traveled by That first step you take is the longest stride
If today was your last day And tomorrow was too late Could you say goodbye to yesterday? Would you live each moment like your last?
As for 'Running Out of Days,' consider the following:
There's too much work and I'm spent There's too much pressure and I admit I got no time to move ahead Have you heard one thing that I've said And all these little things in life they all create this haze There's too many things to get done, and I'm running out of days And I can't last here for so long I feel this current it's so strong It gets me further down the line It gets me closer to the line
We are all running out of days and one day will turn out to be the last for each one of us.
But how does the end begin?
* * *
'The Tail End' is an interesting post on 'Wait But Why.' Tim Urban breaks down a person's lifetime into weeks and then days and it becomes increasingly clear that as far as death is concerned, each new day lived brings a person closer to the end of life at the rate of 86400 seconds every 24 hours.
Towards the end of the post is an interesting insight:
despite not being at the end of your life, you may very well be nearing
the end of your time with some of the most important people in your
life.
This sheds light on how we never really know when we do something or see someone for the very last time. An end is always beginning...
But this also applies to change. For something new to start, something old must come to an end. A change of habits involves dropping old ones and adopting new ones. One has to be bold and determined to break away from the allure of comfort zones.
On a personal level, I have been procrastinating writing certain books but it has got to a point where I elected to drop whatever distractions and excuses I have been using to not commit to my stated objectives.
Today marks the beginning of the end for interactions that are not worthwhile or don't add value, the beginning of the end for things I have needlessly held on to. It is when laziness, doubt, procrastination and negligence starts to end.
And for starters, you can see all this in action for yourself at 'Complit Weekly Tales.' where each week, I am posting exciting new stories from books I'm writing, including my High School and University memoirs.
* * *
We all know that when it is closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. So starting today, are you gonna walk a different road?
Back in June 2016, we published a post about understanding our choices. It prominently features content from The Matrix Reloaded movie, plus some highlights from BBC Radio's 'In Our Time' and a TED Talk by Barry Schwartz.
We live in a world where we are actively encouraged to make decisions. In fact, there is a psychology of choice, whose focus is making easier decisions.
* * *
We have revisited that post in view of the new 'Walkabout Weekly Digest' podcast from Complit Communications.
In the second episode of the podcast, we shall explore a better understanding of our choices and decisions. S01E02: Understanding Our Choices and Decisions will be available on Sunday, March 13.
* * *
Every once in a while, we get a chance to walk a different road, or to sing our own song. No matter how difficult or easy it is to make such decisions, it all starts with making that initial move...
There is a lot to say about expectations. Everyone seems to have an opinion. I'm about to tell you mine.
But first...
Did you know that starting this month, The Walkabout Weekly Digest podcast will be available on your favorite podcast app? Catch new episodes every Sunday starting March 06, 2022. For now, listen on Spotify to the Walkabout Weekly Digest trailer:
* * *
Lao Tzu will tell you to act without expectation. According to William Shakespeare, expectation is the root of all heartache. On the other hand, Sylvia Plath writes that if you expect nothing from somebody, you are never disappointed. But according to Sam Walton, high expectations are the key to everything. Eli Khamarov's take is that the best things in life are unexpected - because they were no expectations.
All this is very likely to get one quite confused!
* * *
So what is writer Mandy Hale's take?
When you release expectations, you are free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be.
If you think the above is interesting, this is what American author Louise Hay does:
I let go of all expectations. People, places and things are free to be themselves, and I am free to be me.
I find this fascinating.
* * *
On my birthday in July 2009, I wrote this post about expectations. The thing about life is that we cannot go about with zero expectations about anything. It is a human and natural thing to do. And whereas the expectation is just the beginning, it is the unexpected that changes our lives.
Earlier in oday's post, I indicated I'll share my opinion about expectations. Well, that is something I've elected to do in the first episode of the Walkabout Weekly Digest on Sunday, March 06. Not here, not now.
The only constant in life is change. You'll often find yourself going backwards and then forwards in this life. And that is no twisted logic. So much as things change, we all change as well...
Hello and happy new month... Yay! We're now onto the third month of March. 2021 was quite a year, inundated with challenges and a whole lot of things going on. But that we are now here means that we gainfully appropriated the opportunities the past 365 days presented.
2021 may be gone, but it is a year that we can look back at and build on as we aspire to even greater achievement.
* * *
The Walkabout started way back in March 2009 with this very first post. Inspired by this scene in the S04E11 episode of LOST titled 'Cabin Fever', it was and continues to be a journey of Insight, Inspiration and Self Discovery. That was more than a decade ago.
12 years later, we have elected to take a truly exciting, refreshing approach to this enduring journey. In addition to the delightful reads you've come to love on the blog, you'll now listen to a podcast from The Walkabout.
Welcome to Walkabout Weekly Digest
Yes. Beginning this month, we shall now present for your listening pleasure, a podcast that will in just a few minutes, distill much of what we usually post on The Walkabout.
In addition, the Walkabout Weekly Digest will feature additional content than would normally be included in a blog post. The first episode comes your way on Sunday, March 06 and we plan on releasing an episode every week thereafter.
Admittedly, there is a bit of a learning curve as we delve into this new multimedia world of podcasting, but we do have the courage to change. It makes no sense to keep on waiting on the word to change when we can learn on the job and still have an impact. We shall get better at it as we get along. In under a week from now, we hit the ground running and we won't stop believin'...
Something very interesting happened the week before last...
On December 15, I reopened my social media accounts following a hiatus I had began in September, a sort of digital detox.
The first thing I did was call one of my Communication Design clients who resides in the US. I recall we laughed at the fact that social media and online OTP (audio and video calling over such services as WhatsApp, Skype, Messenger etc) communication have become integrated in the conduct of business and almost impossible to fully divorce oneself from.
* * *
Podbay is my new podcasting app thanks to Google Podcasts deleting all the podcast episodes I had downloaded onto my device back in November. In addition, BBC Sounds completes my audio listening experiencing given that while BBC podcasts are listed on other podcasting platforms, they are available to listen or download only on the BBC Sounds app.
During this transition, I came to realize that Podbay has an even better podcast Discovery tool than Google Podcasts. With this, I have started to listen to new shows that I can now proudly call favorites. Following are three of them:
In the Sex, Status and Stuff episode of Prodigy, host Lowell Brillante speaks with Professor W. Keith Campbell who explains what our current understanding of narcissistic personality disorder is. It is a brilliant episode, where I got to learn there are multiple types of narcissists. And so much more.
Relevant to this episode is Prof Campbell's mention of the role narcissism plays in today's world where we are globally connected through the Internet and in particular, social media. In essence, many people social networks is one place where narcissism thrives. In fact, it is what drives a significant number of posts and comments on social networks.
* * *
New Amsterdam is a medical TV show that is currently in the 3rd season. In S01E09, a teenager named Shay wants to have top surgery but the parents are opposed to it since Shay is too young. Following a consultation with Dr Iggy Frome, it is agreed that the teen can make that decision. Iggy also tells him that he needs to wait a year until his breast tissue is done growing so they can figure out the best surgery for him. This greatly upsets Shay.
He (Shay) gets angry and tweets out that Iggy is a anti-trans. It spreads like wildfire and is the first thing you see when you Google. Iggy sits down with him and they clear the air. Shay knows Iggy isn't transphobe but he felt pressured by all of his followers to see the surgery through as soon as possible because they raised money in a go fund me.
The takeaway from this episode is what Iggy tells Shay about how social media affects our lives:
Social media is weird. It's like we are not even us when we're on it. It's like we're the thing we wish we were, or even worse, we're the thing that we think others want us to be.
- Dr Iggy Frome (New Amsterdam)
And that is the endless battle many have to endlessly fight while on social networks. The decision to either remain yourself, pretend to be that which you aspire to be, or submit yourself to pressure and validation from followers and online strangers. In this way, you therefore become what you think they want you to be.
* * *
Let's be honest... Life is inundated with challenges. And we all have a bad day too many a time. And while we all an't be royals, you don't even have to be mad at Twitter because life sucks. Be Yourself Always and life will without a doubt, be way less sad.
We're a few days into December. And as it is common worldwide, this is the time both for individuals and organizations to take an inventory of the year that's almost coming to a close.
This is pertinent both in our personal and professional lives.
* * *
My year has been pretty eventful. I got to achieve most of what I'd planned to. In addition, I met and got to know a number of people. Looking back, these interactions have both prepared and equipped me for a future that I can now face with confidence.
And following is perhaps the most appropriate way to distill it all:
“The lion cannot protect himself from traps, and the fox cannot defend himself from wolves. One must therefore be a fox to recognize traps, and a lion to frighten wolves.”
- Niccolo Machiavelli.
Best of all, each one of these interactions is a story...
* * *
Should you look back and fell that you have lost more than you gained in 2021, rest assured all is not lost. And a good way to move forward would be to let some of what has been, remain in your shadow days. Everything becomes very clear after that...
UPDATE: It's December and I'm back posting on The Walkabout. It nice... Wa wa wee wa!
What is the difference between being good and doing good?
* * *
Last month while doing some research writing, I had the opportunity to read yet again, Good to Great by Jim Collins.
The book starts with a bold statement - that good is the enemy of great. And while it is a business book, Good to Great is primarily about being what one is best at, and actually doing the best.
* * *
For this month, I'm torn between ending this post with a song about knowing one can or believing. All the same, both are fabulous. And more so because we have the voices of kinds saying truly beautiful things...
If your interest in the HBO TV Series Succession goes beyond Shiv Roy's turtlenecks, then you'll be pleased to know that Succession Season 3 is coming out soon.
In the second episode of Season 2, Shiv is having a conversation with her father Logan Roy on who will take over his media conglomerate 'Waystar Royco.' He tells Shiv that for her to take over as CEO, she needs to undergo months of training. Following is part of their conversation:
LOGAN: So... here's how I see it. Come in. Six months with Gerri, six months with Karl. Hong Kong for, say, another 12. Uh, Berlin, or London. Management training program for six. Come back, spend 12 months alongside me. And when you're ready, I'll step aside.
SHIV: Wow, Dad, that's a lot of months.
LOGAN: It's an appropriate amount of months.
SHIV: Also, management training program? Roman's COO. You have a toddler with a hard-on for chief operating officer, and I'm going through a management training program?
LOGAN: You're a young woman with no experience.
SHIV: A woman. That's a minus. Well, of course it's a fucking minus!
LOGAN: I didn't make the world!
The world is unfair, and Logan Roy didn't make the world.
* * *
We like to talk a lot about second chances. Late last month, we had a post about Expiation and Revival and it was predicated for the most part, on the idea of righting wrongs and having a second chance.
But there's something we also come to learn about life: it's full of you-have-to-get-it-right-the-first-time-or-not-at-all situations. This may sound profoundly unfair, and it is indeed. There are certain things that are so exacting that you can't possibly get them wrong at all.
For instance, you get only one chance to make a good first impression. Should you screw up, then it becomes near impossible to change that initial perception given that first impressions are most lasting.
And this is something a renowned philosopher had thought of and written about centuries ago:
He who has not first laid his foundations may be able with great ability to lay them afterwards, but they will be laid with trouble to the architect and danger to the building. - Niccolo Machiavelli.
In my native tongue, there is a saying that goes like this: "ngari ndiri sorry." Loosely translated, that means someone cannot hit you with a car then tell you "I'm sorry" since most likely the damage is both permanent and often irreversible.
And this goes further to cement our argument that life sometimes gives you just one chance. Not more, not less. Just one opportunity and that's it.
* * *
Sometimes in this life, you have to simply say it right. Get it all right, or nothing at all. Much as it is true there is a time and place to try again.
Today's post is short and sweet. Straight from the heart, and straight to the point. And yes, we are going waaaaaaay back!
It is from the final episode of the Hulu miniseries 11.22.63, based on the 2011 novel by Stephen King.
* * *
Ms Sadie Dunhill, who was school librarian back in 1963 delivers a speech, most of which is a poem by then School Principal, Dick Simmons.
This is what she says:
We never know which lives we influence or when or why, but I am so very grateful to be part of yours. You older Jodie grads who are here tonight... you might remember Dick Simmons. And some of you may recall that little poem that he loved, that he kept copies on his desk that he can handle them out to troublesome students. Or, to students that were troubled.
Well, this was the poem:
"We did not ask, for this room, or this music. We were invited in. Therefore, because the dark surrounds us, Let us turn our faces to the light. Let us endure hardship to be grateful for plenty We have been given pain, to be astounded by joy. We have been given life, to deny death. We did not ask for this room, or this music. But because we are here, let us dance."
* * *
I remember watching The New Guy more than a decade ago. Those were the same years we couldn't get enough of 'Play' by Jennifer Lopez, 'I Dance' by Lenny LeBlanc or 'Let it Whip' by the Dazz Band. All said and done, play the funky music!
On July 31, 2020, Netflix announced that Money Heist has been renewed for a fifth and final part/season. Money Heist is a massively popular TV show that recently won Best Drama award at the Emmy Awards.
* * *
I was recently reading some interesting articles about why we are so fascinated by true crime. part of this obsession is that deep down, we are voyeurs and hedonists.
But surprisingly, true crime also offers a space for empathy and understanding.And whilst everyone individually draws his or her line as to what is acceptable interest in these crime stories, few if any entirely opt out of engaging with this fascination.
The most obvious thing you'll note about any premeditated crime is the detailed knowledge that the perpetrators have of their victims or crime scenes. This is very well depicted in Money Heist.
Without getting into so much detail, this can be equally applied in human relations. Very few people are actually harmed by strangers. As unfortunate as it is, we note that a majority of kids are molested by people who are very well known to them. At times, relatives and close family members.
Malicious damage to property or to one's self or well-being will usually be done by someone a person has closely interacted with. A person that is familiar.
The reason is that in familiar places, situations or with familiar people, we let down our guard. We feel at ease, get comfortable and throw caution to the wind. We relax. We trust. We assume and overlook. We believe sans scrutiny.
Whilst it should be noted that this observation isn't based on any solid research, methinks there is a danger that often lurks in the familiar.
* * *
I'm yet to read 'Talking to Strangers' by Malcolm Gladwell. But this recent post about strangers on The Walkabout still holds water. In any case, we say in Swahili: "Kikulacho ki nguoni mwako."
So what to do, when you come across a beautiful stranger?
I'll keep this Walkabout Weekend post short and sweet.
The modern world has placed many of us in a uniquely difficult position. We want things, and there is a never-ending pressure to have things. Even worse, this same societal pressure fashions "you want" as "you should have" and "you deserve." Entitlement is deeply rooted.
* * *
This has made a majority of us very transactional. We now approach life on QPQ (quid pro quo) terms where the thought of giving something for nothing is openly frowned up. A generation of quitters who at first opportunity, would rather walk out than try to fix anything that needs to be set right.
So what happens when we embark on something but for some reason, things don't go our way? We immediately want out. After all, the grass is "definitely" greener on the other side, and we do have endless choice and innumerable opportunities elsewhere. Or do we?
Let's explore a few examples:
1. A well educated young man who aspires for greatness and wants the fine things in life gets a job soon after graduating summa cum laude. But the pay is not good enough for him. He quickly resigns, sans a backup plan of either going into business or the promising prospects of getting a better job soon.
2. Two people get into a relationship. They truly want it to work and to have something that lasts more than a fad, something that isn't as transient as the clouds. Soon enough, while still in the process of figuring out their common direction and learning more about each other, they have a major fallout. The now all-too-common reaction happens: they call each other names, go silent on each other and ultimately cut off communication by blocking one another across all social media platforms. There is not even an attempt at trying to find out what the problem is, working on it and amicably coming up with a solution that both can be comfortable with.
3. A young, creative and brilliant radio presenter has been working in an upcoming radio station. In under a year, his popularity has grown by leaps and bounds. A larger radio station owned by a mainstream media conglomerate takes note of his massive popularity and poaches him, in the process doubling his salary and giving him "a much larger platform." But our guy doesn't last long on the job. Another station poaches him, and this begins a series of months where he has a stint in almost every radio station in the country. What he fails to realize is that as he hops from station to station, his star gradually fades. In under 5 years, very few can even recall his name.
* * *
We like to assume that more choice means better options and greater satisfaction. In relationships, we are thrilled at the prospect of the "happily ever after," yet we don't want to put effort in the "here and now." We are taught that it's okay to have lofty expectations and that it is our right to demand things without even thinking about how those same things come into being. As long as we can see or point at it, we want it.
It is profoundly quiet in my house today, as I listen to my inner voice.
This past weekend was an unusually bad one. On both Saturday and Sunday, I put (won't say I found) myself in unfortunate situations that revealed I am a deeply flawed individual.
Whereas I'm not at liberty to divulge the intricate details of the weekend's going-ons, let it suffice to say that it was characterized by lapses in judgment that were not only regretful, but which unchecked, would have resulted in irreversible damage both for me and others present.
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In the movie Crash (2004 film) police officer Sgt John Ryan tells his partner, Officer Tom Hansen:
"If you think you know who you are, you have no idea."
There are times in life when we find ourselves saying or doing things that shock even us. Not to excuse any bad manners, but I have always looked at such moments, no matter how poignant, as moments of clarity that are brought about by an inadvertent glimpse into what we are capable of thinking, saying or doing should we fall over the edge.
It is always an eye-opener that points to what wickedness stands to be awakened should we lose control.
Later on in Crash, Sgt Ryan rescues Christine Thayer when she gets stuck in a crashed car that's about to burn down. That act of compassion where he puts himself in great danger to save her life may not be enough to redeem himself given how he had wronged and humiliated her earlier. But the way I see it is that even the worst among us are not entirely bad or evil. Likewise, the really nice ones in our midst also do have frailties, some of which only get revealed in dire times when circumstances drastically change or other pressures become too much to bear.
But human nature is that once a good person does a really bad thing, we then define that person based entirely on that singularly bad act. This is something Malcolm Gladwell tries to address in Sn02E09 (The Road to Damascus) of the Revisionist History podcast.
The premise of this episode is if we can stop seeing a former terrorist as a terrorist after he has a change of heart.
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We all seek to perfect our lives. When we fall down, we get up. And even when we cannot walk, we can and should still crawl or climb like an Ivy and make progress. And there is an enduring faith that making yet another attempt will hopefully make things better. That even when we lose now, we can make gains tomorrow. Maybe different gains. Maybe better gains.
All in all, my redeeming Grace is that I continue to be a work in progress. In repair. Not together, but getting there...
On August 31, I did the usual inventory of that particular month. And something came out clearly, in light of some of the online conversations I had either been party to or read across social networks:
How we view ourselves is disproportionately affected by how others see us.
In other words, how a great number of people today think of themselves is governed by either the impressions one hopes to make on others or dictated by what others say about you. And I feel that this need not be the case.
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The One Last Thing documentary on PBS takes a closer look at the life and times of Apple co-founder and CEO Steve Jobs, who died in October 2011. Here is a clip that ties in with the central message in today's Wednesday Walkabout post:
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
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The modern world, where a majority are making impressions with a 'fake it till you make it' attitude has meant that is is almost always a time to pretend. But someone beautiful need not feel unsexy and someone interesting need not feel boring...
