How High should You Rise? - The Parable of the Fern and the Bamboo

"Rise up, and don't you fall down again,

Rise up, it's time we break the chains,

I try to fly so high, up to the sky...

...My dream is to fly over the rainbow, so high,

My dream is to fly, over the rainbow so high."

- Yves Larock [Rise Up]

The following post was originally published as a Facebook Note on November 29, 2008. It was predicated on Cock and Bull Stories on Ken Njuguna Ngishili's blog, a place to go for inspirational and reflective posts any day.

Following are some enduring excerpts:

One day, I decided to quit. I wanted to quit my job, to quit my relationships, to quit my spirituality; I even wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God. “God”, I said. “Can you give me one good reason not to quit?”

His answer surprised me. “Look around”.....

“When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.” ....

.... “In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would not quit.”

“Then. in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge they could not handle.” He said to me.

“Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots? I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you! Don’t compare yourself to others. The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful. Your time will come,” God said to me. “You will rise high”.

... “Yes.” He said, “Give me glory by rising as high as you can. And remember.. I will never leave you, nor forsake you. I will never give up on you. I will never, ever quit on you.”

What do you think?

P.S: Bamboo is the fastest growing plant on earth.


 * * *

I like to think about the man in the arena... whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly...
In essence, he rises again.

Love, Relationships and Violence

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living wih the results of other people's thinking."

- Steve Jobs [in his 2005 Stanford commencement address]

Self Righteousness

When I watched Jonathan Haidt's TED Talk about Morality and Openness to Experience, it became clear to me that being subjective in any decision making is the primary reason we are rarely open minded. In other words, objectivity can only prevail when we do not take sides.

Unfortunately, every one of us thinks they are invariably right.
This is why it is very difficult to tell someone that s/he is making the wrong decisions in life.

Abusive Relationships

That said, I took time this morning to listen to Jam 316, hosted by Frederick Njiiri on Radio 316. Listeners were calling in to share their views after a lady called in, wondering what to do since her husband beats her up.

When asked if she has shared her predicament with her family or close friends, she said that she hasn't, because she will be embarassed when others know that she is a victim of domestic violence.

As I listened to divergent opinions from other listeners who called in or shared on the show's Facebook page, I was vexed by two things:

1. a majority has gradually accepted that physical abuse by one spouse in marriages and relationships is a perfectly normal, natural and ordinary thing.
2. victims of domestic violence are unable to leave abusive relationships because of kids, stigma and a dependence on the abusive spouse or partner.

Is the Juice Worth the Squeeze?

I find it really hard to understand why people

Granted, I am not married nor in a relationship, those are situations I have opted to stay out of as long as possible for reasons that are beyond the scope of this post.

My question however remains: Are the people we closely relate with really indispensable?

Is it so hard to leave a situation that adversely affects you? Is there a shortage of spouses and partners in life, that I unaware of? What happened to freedom and choice? Is continually living with some people really worth the trouble?

Self Deprecation

Stephen King, in The Dark Tower, writes

True love, like any other strong and addictive drug, is boring—once the tale of encounter and discovery is told, kisses quickly grow stale and caresses tiresome.
. . except, of course, to those who share the kisses, who give and take the caresses while every sound and color of the world seems to deepen and brighten around them. As with any other strong drug, true first love is really only interesting to those who have become its prisoners.
And, as is true of any other strong and addicting drug, true first love is dangerous.

His words somewhat explain the irrational behavior that many people exhibit when they are in relationships.

The Idea of True Love

I subscribe to the Christian faith, but I contend that some definitions hold true universally. In her song My Idea of Heaven, Leigh Nash concludes that being with family is indeed her idea of Heaven.

In my mind, families are predicated on relationships. Family should therefore be the last place where one should be harmed - especially relationships and families that we get into voluntarily through dating and marriage.

Furthermore, I have always maintained that things don't get bad over time, they start bad.
1 Corinthians 13 provides us with a very good definition of love. Have a look at it and should you be in a situation that falls short of this, my advice is that you should get out of it as soon as possible. It surely isn't worth your while.

Knowing when to Stop

In recent times, we have been inundated with media reports of every manner of vice. In my home district, I was shocked to read about a jailbird who raped and then killed a 91-year old woman.



Dirty Dancing
During the Easter weekend, a concert held at the KICC featuring RDX of the Bend Over fame, gave Kenyans something to talk about for the better part of last week. The Nairobi Swaggerific concert quickly became an orgy of sorts, characterized by shameful and deplorable dirty dancing acts as captured in these videos.

In other news, we woke up today to the news of the killing by American forces, of Osama Bin Laden, the international fugitive and leader of the Al Qaeda who has occasioned the needless deaths of thousands of people across the world.

Many often wonder about wrong-doing, and why people still continue doing what is both undesirable and wrong.
Reading The Nature of Violence by Eric Fromm, who authored The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness I became convinced that violence has existed for as long as human beings have. In an earlier post titled The Nature of Violence, how to Reduce it on The Walkabout, I listed some salient points from Eric Fromm's Encarta article.

Indulgence
It turns out, human beings are both progressive and regressive. During one of her breakfast shows in her earlier years at Kiss 100 FM, Caroline Mutoko said,

after human beings get what they want, they next indulge

Her words keep reminding me of Mr. Brooks, a movie I watched back in 2008, the same day a violent encounter nearly took my life [of course I was the victim ;)]. A celebrated businessman, Mr Brooks has a secret habit that he just can't stop. Thanks to "persuasion" by his bloodthirsty id Mr Hurt, he is a serial killer.

Just Once More
The fact that we always want to try just one final time even when we'd like to stop our errant ways, and the assumption that we are in control of our lives is a key reason why we do not know when to stop.

As a solution, I contend that we should all purpose to put a stop to whatever it is that needs stopping. Not tomorrow but right now. Not after the next one final time.
The time to stop is right here, right now. And what better way to effect change than starting today?